Given a lot of us are of a certain age and have parents, or in some cases partners, of a certain age, I thought I'd start a general support thread for those who care for those who are inflicted with these horrible mental diseases.
As is often the way with threads on this time capsule we call NSC, something you write today may help someone weeks, months or even years from now.
I'm going through a really tough time with my mum. I should probably have expected what is happening right now, although for some reason I didn't.
My mum currently absolutely hates me, despises me even. She's convinced I want to kill her to get her money and her house. She'll call me a ****, a bastard or a f***ing arsehole to anyone she can, and tell them some made-up story about what I'm trying to do.
She's even phoned the police to report me for trying to kill her.
I know it's not her, it's the disease, but it's still very difficult to deal with and, projecting forward, thinking that my mum could go to her grave believing I'm evil.
It's particularly tough because I am the main physical presence in my mum's life. Since my aunt, who lived with her, died suddenly and unexpectedly nearly three weeks ago, it's all on me. If I don't go and see my mum, then her only human contact will be her four daily carer visits. I do the laundry, I do the shopping and I prep her meals etc.
She thinks I'm trying to put her in a care home, when the reality is if it wasn't for me she'd almost certainly be in one already. I'm actually trying my hardest to keep her living semi-independently in her own home (although she doesn't believe it is her own home) for as long as. possible.
So, daily, I'm torn. If I don't spend much time with her I feel guilty as I know she won't have anyone else, but when I do go there, I know she thinks I'm trying to kill her in some way or another.
I say I should have expected it, because for her quite long hospital stint. where I spent all-day every-day at her bedside, she would tell me it was the last time I would see her every time I had to leave. She thought the nurses were trying to kill her. "You'll find me dead on the floor tomorrow" was the cheery goodbye I'd always get. When she came home, she was very paranoid about my aunt/her sister, believing her possessions were being stolen. She didn't seem to think my aunt was a nefarious murderer, however.
The irony is she doesn't have much money at all - although she has more as a result of asking me to help her manage it before dementia set in - and sooner or later she is likely to require moving to a care home, and her house will be sold to pay for that care.
It's a cruel disease.
As is often the way with threads on this time capsule we call NSC, something you write today may help someone weeks, months or even years from now.
I'm going through a really tough time with my mum. I should probably have expected what is happening right now, although for some reason I didn't.
My mum currently absolutely hates me, despises me even. She's convinced I want to kill her to get her money and her house. She'll call me a ****, a bastard or a f***ing arsehole to anyone she can, and tell them some made-up story about what I'm trying to do.
She's even phoned the police to report me for trying to kill her.
I know it's not her, it's the disease, but it's still very difficult to deal with and, projecting forward, thinking that my mum could go to her grave believing I'm evil.
It's particularly tough because I am the main physical presence in my mum's life. Since my aunt, who lived with her, died suddenly and unexpectedly nearly three weeks ago, it's all on me. If I don't go and see my mum, then her only human contact will be her four daily carer visits. I do the laundry, I do the shopping and I prep her meals etc.
She thinks I'm trying to put her in a care home, when the reality is if it wasn't for me she'd almost certainly be in one already. I'm actually trying my hardest to keep her living semi-independently in her own home (although she doesn't believe it is her own home) for as long as. possible.
So, daily, I'm torn. If I don't spend much time with her I feel guilty as I know she won't have anyone else, but when I do go there, I know she thinks I'm trying to kill her in some way or another.
I say I should have expected it, because for her quite long hospital stint. where I spent all-day every-day at her bedside, she would tell me it was the last time I would see her every time I had to leave. She thought the nurses were trying to kill her. "You'll find me dead on the floor tomorrow" was the cheery goodbye I'd always get. When she came home, she was very paranoid about my aunt/her sister, believing her possessions were being stolen. She didn't seem to think my aunt was a nefarious murderer, however.
The irony is she doesn't have much money at all - although she has more as a result of asking me to help her manage it before dementia set in - and sooner or later she is likely to require moving to a care home, and her house will be sold to pay for that care.
It's a cruel disease.
) and a number of times thought she wasn't going to survive the night (especially the first 5 in A&E). Now her care home says she needs to be reassessed before she can go back, ffs.