[Humour] Best single line in Comedy

WATFORD zero

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 10, 2003

27,980

• Yesterday at 8:23 PM

• #1

I know it's been done before, but it's Xmas (again) and I've just turned on the TV to hear

"Don't tell them Pike"

For me, the second best line in comedy after

"I am playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order"

Your best single line in comedy ?

 

C

Cheggers

Well-known member

Jul 28, 2011

414

Bang! And the dirt is gone.

• Yesterday at 8:26 PM

• #2

'Nice and cool, you know what I mean'

 

LamieRobertson

Not awoke

Feb 3, 2008

48,754

SHOREHAM BY SEA

• Yesterday at 8:28 PM

• #3

WATFORD zero said:

I know it's been done before, but it's Xmas (again) and I've just turned on the TV to hear

"Don't tell them Pike"

For me, the second best line in comedy after

"I am playing all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order"

Your best single line in comedy ?

Click to expand...

Both of those were my choices before I read your post ….an age thing? Though I guess you are much older than me

 

Pevenseagull

meh

Jul 20, 2003

20,844

• Yesterday at 8:33 PM

• #4

'I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith'

 

E

essbee1

Well-known member

Jun 25, 2014

4,830

• Yesterday at 8:33 PM

• #5

"Didn't you kill my brother?"
<"Must have been me then">

I met Alexei (Sayle) in central London a couple of years ago and had a chat. I finished
by asking him that line. He laughed. I don't think he'd been asked it before see.

 

S

severnside gull

Well-known member

May 16, 2007

24,834

By the seaside in West Somerset

• Yesterday at 8:35 PM

• #6

Two words - “four candles” (or fork handles if you prefer)

 

LANGDON SEAGULL

Well-known member

Dec 9, 2004

3,567

Langdon Hills

• Yesterday at 8:37 PM

• #7

‘Trust the process’

 

jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage

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Oct 17, 2008

15,066

• Yesterday at 8:39 PM

• #8

“Yes you did, you invaded Poland.”



But honestly any number from Fawlty Towers.

 

B

Bodian

Well-known member

May 3, 2012

14,748

Cumbria

• Yesterday at 8:40 PM

• #9

Ni.

 

sparkie

Well-known member

Jul 17, 2003

13,347

Hove

• Yesterday at 8:45 PM

• #10

"The identity of the official whose alleged responsibility for this hypothetical oversight has been the subject of recent discussion is not shrouded in quite such impenetrable obscurity as certain previous disclosures may have led you to assume, but, not to put too fine a point on it, the individual in question is, it may surprise you to learn, one whom your present interlocutor is in the habit of defining by means of the perpendicular pronoun."

 

WATFORD zero

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Jul 10, 2003

27,980

• Yesterday at 8:52 PM

• Thread starter
• #11

sparkie said:

"The identity of the official whose alleged responsibility for this hypothetical oversight has been the subject of recent discussion is not shrouded in quite such impenetrable obscurity as certain previous disclosures may have led you to assume, but, not to put too fine a point on it, the individual in question is, it may surprise you to learn, one whom your present interlocutor is in the habit of defining by means of the perpendicular pronoun."

Click to expand...

Got to be Yes Minister but thanks for going for one of the more succinct ones

If it's opened up to soliloquys (which it really should)

 

N

North East Seagull

Active member

Jul 6, 2004

138

Newcastle upon Tyne

• Yesterday at 8:58 PM

• #12

Hello Bob, I'd offer you a, beer but I've only got six.

 

Herr Tubthumper

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Jul 11, 2003

63,091

The Fatherland

• Yesterday at 9:03 PM

• #13

These days………

 

Comrade Sam

Comrade Sam

Jan 31, 2013

1,951

Walthamstow

• Yesterday at 9:05 PM

• #14

Ha, missed both my legs!

 

A

alanfp

Active member

Feb 23, 2024

117

• Yesterday at 9:08 PM

• #15

Agree with "notes/order"- Eric Morecambe to Andrew Preview - the world's most famous orchestra conductor at the time. Didn't he take it well!

I think what I like with a number of these mentioned above is that they can be used (sometimes with a little adjustment) in real conversations e.g. at a shop till when entering my PIN.

 

jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage

NSC Patron

Oct 17, 2008

15,066

• Yesterday at 9:09 PM

• #16

Comrade Sam said:

Ha, missed both my legs!

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Both The Young Ones and Bottom!

 

jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage

NSC Patron

Oct 17, 2008

15,066

• Yesterday at 9:10 PM

• #17

North East Seagull said:

Hello Bob, I'd offer you a, beer but I've only got six.

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Also used by Peterson to Lister in Red Dwarf “Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers” but maybe that was just the novel?

 

R

raymondo

Well-known member

Apr 26, 2017

7,677

Wiltshire

• Yesterday at 9:12 PM

• #18

'Just my way of getting through the day dear '

 

R

raymondo

Well-known member

Apr 26, 2017

7,677

Wiltshire

• Yesterday at 9:13 PM

• #19

42

 

R

raymondo

Well-known member

Apr 26, 2017

7,677

Wiltshire

• Yesterday at 9:16 PM

• #20

sparkie said:

"The identity of the official whose alleged responsibility for this hypothetical oversight has been the subject of recent discussion is not shrouded in quite such impenetrable obscurity as certain previous disclosures may have led you to assume, but, not to put too fine a point on it, the individual in question is, it may surprise you to learn, one whom your present interlocutor is in the habit of defining by means of the perpendicular pronoun."

Click to expand...

That's one helluva line!