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[Politics] Are YOU politically homeless? Join The National Housing Party



Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,341
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
A leaflet has just dropped through our door from Britain's newest and, some might say, maddest political party.

It starts with the bright red slogan 'NATIONAL HOUSING PARTY UNITED KINGDOM' emblazoned neatly over a picture of a council estate. Admittedly using National and United Kingdom together is a little repetitive and they could use a lesson in marketing redundancy but, so far, not so much to worry about. Everyone needs housing, even if it is in a Deptford tower block overlooking a pub with a flat roof.

But then your eyes are inevitably drawn to the photo of the leader, John Lawrence, who looks like he probably started the party after a long period of living on a bench. And the first clue to what they might really be about is given by their logo, which looks like it was designed by the visually impaired child of a Britain First member. Still, houses eh? Always good things. Let's have a read of the text.

And here the penny starts to drop. "With millions of our own people in the private sector living in overcrowded condtions, the LibLAbCon continue to give refugees housing before our own citizens. In order to address this crisis. we need to exit the 1951 UN Refugee Convention."

Ah.

Then there's a section of things they're against which could come straight from Reform or even the Tories, but have nothing to do with housing; abolish LTN and ULEZ, abolish electric vehicle targets, carbon free housing targets and 20mph zones. But the real zinger is under the section titled "Sex Education".

"NHPUK campaigns to take sex education out of schools and put it back in the hands of the parents where it should be. Schools should be teaching about Jesus, English, Maths.....With the absence of Jesus Christ without our society our children are being confused."

Some may say it that if Christ were alive now, the first people he'd take pity on are people fleeing warzones. Not John Lawrence, obviously.

I mention this as many on NSC seem to now be styling themselves as politically homeless and thinking of politicians as all the same. Well, John clearly isn't. "Are you politically homeless? Speak to us" John urges. And you can join for the very reasonable sum of *checks notes* £22 a year. Today!

If you'd like to know how, all the details are below. How can anyone resist the lure of anti-green fascists with a Jesus twist?
 

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Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
The United Nations Convention on Refugees was 1951. Either John hasn’t bothered doing any research or GB made a typo.

 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,341
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
The United Nations Convention on Refugees was 1951. Either John hasn’t bothered doing any research or GB made a typo.

GB made a typo. All this AI tech nowadays and yet one STILL can't copy paste from a shoddy fascist leaflet.
 


Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,918
GB made a typo. All this AI tech nowadays and yet one STILL can't copy paste from a shoddy fascist leaflet.
I wonder what Google AI podcasters, Sage and Elijah in Ohio, would make of that site.

I like the fact that they have left the mobile numbers so folk can ring up and talk about their benefits :lolol:
 




Wozza

Custom title
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
24,373
Minteh Wonderland
A leaflet has just dropped through our door from Britain's newest and, some might say, maddest political party.

It starts with the bright red slogan 'NATIONAL HOUSING PARTY UNITED KINGDOM' emblazoned neatly over a picture of a council estate. Admittedly using National and United Kingdom together is a little repetitive and they could use a lesson in marketing redundancy but, so far, not so much to worry about. Everyone needs housing, even if it is in a Deptford tower block overlooking a pub with a flat roof.

But then your eyes are inevitably draw to the photo of the leader, John Lawrence, who looks like he probably started the party after a long period of living on a bench. And the first clue to what they might really be about is given by their logo, which looks like it was designed by the visually impaired child of a Britain First member. Still, houses eh? Always good things. Let's have a read of the text.

And here the penny starts to drop. "With millions of our own people in the private sector living in overcrowded condtions, the LibLAbCon continue to give refugees housing before our own citizens. In order to address this crisis. we need to exit the 1951 UN Refugee Convention."

Ah.

Then there's a section of things they're against which could come straight from Reform or even the Tories, but have nothing to do with housing; abolish LTN and ULEZ, abolish electric vehicle targets, carbon free housing targets and 20mph zones. But the real zinger is under the section titled "Sex Education".

"NHPUK campaigns to take sex education out of schools and put it back in the hands of the parents where it should be. Schools should be teaching about Jesus, English, Maths.....With the absence of Jesus Christ without our society our children are being confused."

Some may say it that if Christ were alive now, the first people he'd take pity on are people fleeing warzones. Not John Lawrence, obviously.

I mention this as many on NSC seem to now be styling themselves as politically homeless and thinking of politicians as all the same. Well, John clearly isn't. "Are you politically homeless? Speak to us" John urges. And you can join for the very reasonable sum of *checks notes* £22 a year. Today!

If you'd like to know how, all the details are below. How can anyone resist the lure of anti-green fascists with a Jesus twist?
It's not perhaps top of the crimes here but, my God, the Oxford comma before the ampersand (!) in the bottom line is GRIM.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,109
Faversham
For the politically hopeless.
 














Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
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Jul 23, 2003
37,341
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade

Total lols.
The current country wide disaffection could see that upped to TWO votes next time. Imagine the scenes.

(for the avoidance of doubt I have now c**ted the leaflet in the bin and scraped this morning's dog food leftovers onto it)
 




Crawley Dingo

Political thread tourist.
Mar 31, 2022
1,080
Ah an immigration good/right-wing are fascists thread, I am sure the usual suspects will be off as soon as they see this thread.

Politically homeless implies belief in the uni-party?
 




beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
36,015
someone trying it on to get some cash isn't it? from a political point of view whats the point of this party rather than Reform?
 






Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
(for the avoidance of doubt I have now c**ted the leaflet in the bin and scraped this morning's dog food leftovers onto it)
I think that was the kindest thing you could do. Other than use it to scrape up the resulting dog shit from the pavement.
 




Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,918
Ah an immigration good/right-wing are fascists thread, I am sure the usual suspects will be off as soon as they see this thread.

Politically homeless implies belief in the uni-party?
I think we need to find thee a home in NSC. I'm unsure as to why you engage in political threads. Think of how much all the time you spend doing so is actually making any difference at all. Join us on the cricket thread. It'll be much more fun for you.
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
37,341
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Ah an immigration good/right-wing are fascists thread, I am sure the usual suspects will be off as soon as they see this thread.

Politically homeless implies belief in the uni-party?
Give John a call. He'd love to hear from you. You definitely won't be joining a cult or anything. If you're not too busy building the new NSC still, that is.
 


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