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[Humour] Joke du Jour













Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
14,214
Cumbria
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy and the other's a little lighter.
But this doesn't work - a 'hippo' (trademark number 1158201) is a water saver for your toilet cistern, and is made from durable polyethylene, and so doesn't weigh very much at all. A zippo lighter, being made of metal, is almost certainly heavier.
 




Coldeanseagull

Opinionated
Mar 13, 2013
8,347
Coldean
But this doesn't work - a 'hippo' (trademark number 1158201) is a water saver for your toilet cistern, and is made from durable polyethylene, and so doesn't weigh very much at all. A zippo lighter, being made of metal, is almost certainly heavier.
This is probably where I went wrong....broke my toilet cistern and couldn't light my fags :shrug:
 








Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,572
Playing snooker
You’d think with all that swimming they do, they’d be a bit slimmer. They should probably mix it up a bit and do some resistance training x3 days a week.
 


Cotton Socks

Skint Supporter
Feb 20, 2017
2,152
But this doesn't work - a 'hippo' (trademark number 1158201) is a water saver for your toilet cistern, and is made from durable polyethylene, and so doesn't weigh very much at all. A zippo lighter, being made of metal, is almost certainly heavier.
One less digit and that could've been on the count to 500,000 thread!!!

In all seriousness surely the difference in thermal energy is a bigger factor than weight? You'd need the thermal energy from a zippo to light a fart of a hippo, but you wouldn't need a hippo to light a zippo.
 


Seagull's Return

Active member
Nov 7, 2003
866
Brighton
Once again, Occam’s razor provides us with the answer. The real difference is alphabetical. In Western cultures such as our own the alphabet is universally conceptualised as progressive and linear (think of idioms such as “from A to Z” to express an entire process from initiation to termination). Hippo precedes Zippo and thus - literally - takes precedence. Simple.

The whole weight thing is irrelevant, and I don’t really understand how farts can be used to compare a hippo, which breaks wind regularly and with no little violence, and a cigarette lighter, which doesn’t. False logic, I fear.
 






ConfusedGloryHunter

He/him/his/that muppet
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2011
2,410
The original question is the problem here. It presupposes that there is only one difference between the two items under consideration. I would suggest that since there are a vast amount of differences the question should have been:

What is one of the very many differences between a typical mamal of the hippopotamus variety and a lighter manufactured by the Zippo company?

Happy to have helped.
 


Midget

Amexgemeinschaftsstadionhallebierschluckerinchen
Aug 16, 2015
1,190
Lurking
Is this a wordle thing?

I don't think they do brand names, so I'd go hippo.

I don't think the weight matters.
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
The original question is the problem here. It presupposes that there is only one difference between the two items under consideration. I would suggest that since there are a vast amount of differences the question should have been:

What is one of the very many differences between a typical mamal of the hippopotamus variety and a lighter manufactured by the Zippo company?

Happy to have helped.
Hey man, lets try to focus on what they have in common rather than trying to sow division. Peace and love Brother.
 


Albion my Albion

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 6, 2016
19,615
Indiana, USA
Hey man, lets try to focus on what they have in common rather than trying to sow division. Peace and love Brother.

Something Trump will NEVER say unless he's lying. So something Trump is likely to say.
 








Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,947
Surrey
You’d think with all that swimming they do, they’d be a bit slimmer. They should probably mix it up a bit and do some resistance training x3 days a week.
To clarify - you're expecting an enormous descendant of a pig to know what "resistance training" is?

I think you're being very naive there.
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
25,496
Worthing
Women are often named after animals and how awful is that.
Shes a hippo, she’s a minx.
I think men can be snakes .what am I on about…., you tell me
 


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