Worst attempt at a rhyme in a pop tune?

[Danny-Boy]

Listening to Seahaven FM this morning, they played "Eleanor" by the Turtlles, the lyrics of which include an attempt to rhyme


"Etcetera" with

"Better"!

Doesn't even scan, what moron wrote that down and said "we've got a hit here boys!"

 

[mistahclarke]

I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer

oh sorry, thought you said worst line

 

[ATFC Seagull]

Isn't that quite famous though as an example of a deliberate shit lyric, in that they were trying to churn out a quick record in order to end a deal with a label asap or something? I could be wrong.

 

[wadhurstseagull]

Gonna write a classic
Gonna write it in an attic
Baby I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

Adrian Gurvitz take a bow........

 

[Buzzer]

Funny, I immediately thought of "I'm as serious as cancer..." too.

Des'ree came up with this absolute belter:

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.

Utter shit.

 

[Leosayer]

ABC - That was then this is now

Can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble

 

[Questions]

The Jean Genie has terrible lyrics. Much as I loved Bowie - and the song for that matter - its just a complete jumble of nonsense. great rhymes though.

 

[Bracknell_Gull]

Funny, I immediately thought of "I'm as serious as cancer..." too.

Des'ree came up with this absolute belter:

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.

Utter shit.

Hahaha, that is horrific! we have a winner!

 

[Bracknell_Gull]

The Jean Genie has terrible lyrics. Much as I loved Bowie - and the song for that matter - its just a complete jumble of nonsense. great rhymes though.

I have a similar view with Children Of The Revolution. As much as I like Bolan, he did come up with some shockers, and the best example is "I drive a rolls royce 'cos it's good for my voice" completely pointless

 

[Questions]

I know this is not about bad lyrics as such but whenever I hear Your Song by Elton John I want to scream at the radio. Why ? Because he sings,
''If I was a sculptor,
But then again no''.

Well why bother mentioning it then you bald, fat poof. You have 3 minutes to make an impression with your music and lyrics and you come up with that ffs.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Love Oasis to bits, but 'Supersonic' has lyrics to cringe for...

'I know a girl called Elsa
She's into Alka Seltzer'

Whatever

 

[Washie]

I like scooter's, "is it a bird? is it a plane? no it's Dave, hes on a train"

 

[ILIKECANDLES]

I know this is not about bad lyrics as such but whenever I hear Your Song by Elton John I want to scream at the radio. Why ? Because he sings,
''If I was a sculptor,
But then again no''.

Well why bother mentioning it then you bald, fat poof. You have 3 minutes to make an impression with your music and lyrics and you come up with that ffs.

Homophobe.....

 

[Lord Bracknell]

If this wasn't such a great song, most of it would qualify.


Good evening, I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well

Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my cortina
A seasoned-up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena

Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

I bought a lot of Brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a mandy
She didn't half go bandy

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

I'd rendez-vous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet
She bruised her pomegranate

Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If I ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

I know a lovely old toe-rag
Obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky
I'm Billericay Dicky
And I'm doing very well

Oh golly, oh gosh
Come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh
From Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a slouch

So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effing thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicky
I'm doing very well

 

[Questions]

Homophobe.....

You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine

 

[Seasider78]

For me it's both shit and used as much as Jordan's love bucket but my vote goes to

'throw your hands in the air and wave them around like you just don't care'

 

[catfish]

I know this is not about bad lyrics as such but whenever I hear Your Song by Elton John I want to scream at the radio. Why ? Because he sings,
''If I was a sculptor,
But then again no''.

Well why bother mentioning it then you bald, fat poof. You have 3 minutes to make an impression with your music and lyrics and you come up with that ffs.

Vegster will be devastated...

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

Paul Weller:
"Margaret Thatcher is the queen,
Ronald Reagan is the king
And the nuclear arms race
Is the wedding ring."

OK, it rhymes. But as a lyric... Pah.

 

[CheeseRolls]

Gonna write a classic
Gonna write it in an attic
Baby I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

Adrian Gurvitz take a bow........

That was the first one that came into my head as well, all time stinker from the seventies.

 

[CheeseRolls]

Mind you ..

She thinks that I'm a cabbage
Cos I hate University Challenge

Excusable because it vaguely sort of rhymes in a Derry accent. Okay no it doesn't but it was from a bloody good song.