Why can't they design fruit better?...

[Pavilionaire]

I've just started peeling a tangerine and the bastard's squirted all over me! What is it about f***ing fruit, with their little bits of pith, rogue pips, black bits etc? We should GM the whole effing lot of them!

 

[John Bumlick]

yeah and they should design a banana with one completely smooth end. those rough bits really hurt when you shove one up your arse,

 

[Pavilionaire]

Why don't you use a carrot or, if you have a high pain threshold, a meaty courgette?

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Now here's a well-designed fruit...

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

We really do need to win a few games don't we.

 

[Easy 10]

I've not gone NEAR a kiwi fruit since the other weeks shenanigans.
Had a nice simply bog-standard APPLE today, followed by a succulent PLUM. No fuss. No mess. Apples and plums are superbly designed. Unlike oranges/tangerines where you have to piss about peeling them, and Kiwis which are basically impossible to eat.

 

[Trufflehound]

Fruit is evil. But not as evil as a pointed stick.

[yt]piWCBOsJr-w[/yt]

 

[Pavilionaire]

f***ing water melon, what IS it with those pips, and that juice? Try getting that stain out of your t-shirt!

You'd think with the end of the Cold War all these scientists kicking their heels could be put to good use, fruit-wise.

 

[Easy 10]

Water melon is VILE
Its the fruity equivalent of the cucumber. Which is natures WRONGUN.

 

[Badger]

I've not gone NEAR a kiwi fruit since the other weeks shenanigans.
Had a nice simply bog-standard APPLE today, followed by a succulent PLUM. No fuss. No mess. Apples and plums are superbly designed. Unlike oranges/tangerines where you have to piss about peeling them, and Kiwis which are basically impossible to eat.

I disagree, apples are total WIMPS, the slightest little knock and they get bruised. At least most melons are double-hard b@stards, drop one of them and they come back for more.

 

[champion7]

Peaches are no better,take a large bite out of one of them and half the juice runs down your frickin chin.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

There does seem to be a MARKET for a Dragons Den type invention here.

 

[Acker79]

We really do need to win a few games don't we.

Why, so we don't get surreal off-topic threads like this?
a) This is nsc, these are our bread and butter
b) If not for "Slade: in or out?" "what's wrong wiht out team..." etc. There'll be even more of these. While winning what's there to chat bout on the footie side?

 

[The Large One]

There does seem to be a MARKET for a Dragons Den type invention here.

Yup.

• Satsumas that you peel and find a little pork pie inside them.
• Bananas that glow on Wednesdays
• Watermelons that change colour according to your mood
• Strawberries with a little tune inside them
• Kiwi fruit that doesn't answer back
• Lemons that only squirt in a golden glittery spiral shape
• Plums that make you pull women easier

 

[Easy 10]

I disagree, apples are total WIMPS, the slightest little knock and they get bruised. At least most melons are double-hard b@stards, drop one of them and they come back for more.

But does an apple with a bruise taste any different ? Of course not, its purely an aesthetic matter. But if you ARE bothered about how your fruit looks, then I will tell you this. You can polish a melon as much as you like, but it'll never come up all nice and SHINEY like an apple does.

So ner.

 

[bhafc99]

• Watermelons that change colour according to your mood

Watermeleons.

* Files patent... *

 

[Pavilionaire]

Hey, what about the pineapple? Rough as f***, even Bigley's killers would have a problem getting a knife strong enough to cut the bastard, then there's the annoying hard bit through the middle...

 

[clapham_gull]

Hey, what about the pineapple? Rough as f***, even Bigley's killers would have a problem getting a knife strong enough to cut the bastard, then there's the annoying hard bit through the middle...

Should have watched Master Chef tonight..

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Does anyone else have a DOG that eats oranges?

He won't touch satsumas, though.

 

[Pavilionaire]

No LB, but I once went out with dog that liked to lick my plums and nibble my banana...