Why are bouncers such arseholes?

[Buzzer]

Techno party below Al duomos and I was dressed as scooby doo. Then onto the funky buddha where I was surrounded by 3 serbian bouncers, giving me the third degree because I had my scooby outfit on. Was made to take it off - still getting eyeballed as if I'd raped their mother. A friend of mine put it on in the club and the bouncers nearly dragged her out.

God forbid anyone has fun in a club. Where was the f***ing harm? DJs couldn't believe it either.

They are all, to a man, nasty shitty cnuts who wank themselves silly to ultra violent porn in their grotty bedsits off 7 dials.

I f***ing hate bouncers. If my children grew up to be bouncers I'd disown them.

Monkey men.

 

[dougdeep]

The power goes to their heads, it's the same with messageboard mods.

 

[Gerbil]

They are all, to a man, nasty shitty cnuts who wank themselves silly to ultra violent porn in their grotty bedsits off 7 dials.

I don't

 

[El Presidente]

I don't

Where do you wank yourself shitty then?

 

[Gully]

Most bouncers I have met have had large egos, muscles and opinions of their own attractiveness to members of the opposite sex, this has been counterbalanced by low intellect, levels of common sense and probably small male reproductive organs (caused by the steroids they take to maintain the muscly appearance without really working out).

There are of course exceptions to the rule.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Techno party below Al duomos and I was dressed as scooby doo. Then onto the funky buddha where I was surrounded by 3 serbian bouncers, giving me the third degree because I had my scooby outfit on. Was made to take it off - still getting eyeballed as if I'd raped their mother. A friend of mine put it on in the club and the bouncers nearly dragged her out.

God forbid anyone has fun in a club. Where was the f***ing harm? DJs couldn't believe it either.

They are all, to a man, nasty shitty cnuts who wank themselves silly to ultra violent porn in their grotty bedsits off 7 dials.

I f***ing hate bouncers. If my children grew up to be bouncers I'd disown them.

Monkey men.

Should have tried telling them that you were respected local professional footballer Doug Loft and your Gully costume was in the wash

 

[NMH]

I would really like to become a bouncer, if that's how they are allowed to behave.

Are there bouncer groupies?

 

[bristolseagull]

Why where you dressed like a ****?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

A lot of them are. Including the one that rugby tackled me round the neck when I was trying to break up a fight, as a girl had been elbowed and it was threatening to turn into a riot.

I did meet a very nice bouncer at the Paddle Round the Pier event though.

 

[Goodfella]

Techno party below Al duomos and I was dressed as scooby doo. Then onto the funky buddha where I was surrounded by 3 serbian bouncers, giving me the third degree because I had my scooby outfit on. Was made to take it off - still getting eyeballed as if I'd raped their mother. A friend of mine put it on in the club and the bouncers nearly dragged her out.

God forbid anyone has fun in a club. Where was the f***ing harm? DJs couldn't believe it either.

They are all, to a man, nasty shitty cnuts who wank themselves silly to ultra violent porn in their grotty bedsits off 7 dials.

I f***ing hate bouncers. If my children grew up to be bouncers I'd disown them.

Monkey men.

They are indeed utter wankers, i got locked up overnight a few months ago, just because i had asked the bouncers why my 19 year-old nephew (Who wouldn't say Boo! to a goose) had been man handled, and chucked out of the club, i was told to shut my f***ing mouth and go back and f***ing sit down, or else? so i did, but only to find a bouncer following me around like a lost child, when i dared to ask why he was following me, all hell let loose, and 4, yes FOUR bouncers were dragging me out, and i'm 5ft f***ing 6" tall, was then arrested, when one of the bouncers said i had hit him.

Believe me, next time i WILL f***ing hit him.

 

[sir albion]

Thought the law had changed on bouncers mmmm,can only man handle if provoked etc.Guess the new system is still shite

Most are pricks though

 

[wehatepalace]

I Was a "bouncer" for many years and I have to say I was never like, you have described but There are indeed many who are ! And they are the ones who give us bad names. I have worked some of the top clubs in London and the south east, and there are indeed some wankers about but also some good'ns so please don't judge the book by it's cover !
Also a doorman can use "reasonable force" to eject someone from the premises
If the customer refuses to leave, and they also don't need a reason to ask you to leave either !

 

[The Large One]

Techno party below Al duomos and I was dressed as scooby doo. Then onto the funky buddha where I was surrounded by 3 serbian bouncers, giving me the third degree because I had my scooby outfit on. Was made to take it off - still getting eyeballed as if I'd raped their mother. A friend of mine put it on in the club and the bouncers nearly dragged her out.

God forbid anyone has fun in a club. Where was the f***ing harm? DJs couldn't believe it either.

They are all, to a man, nasty shitty cnuts who wank themselves silly to ultra violent porn in their grotty bedsits off 7 dials.

I f***ing hate bouncers. If my children grew up to be bouncers I'd disown them.

Monkey men.

Boycott the club. Better still, announce to all and sundry that you're boycotting the club, and encourage people to do the same.

The club in question will soon get rid of said bouncers if it was seen that they were the reason for the club loing money. Unless of course the bouncers are part of some East European mafia gangland syndicate-type thing. They they're f***ed.

Edna, SORT IT OUT.

 

[otk]

I now don't go in places that have bouncers, beit pubs, clubs etc. They are there because there is the potential for trouble, and if there is no trouble, they'll probably start some for their own gratification. A bouncer came up to me in a club once and accused me of something which hadn't happened, so I told him I was leaving and would spend my money elsewhere and haven't been back since

 

[Blackadder]

I think the worst bouncers (and these weren't doormen) that I came across were the one's at Cinderellas (Stoods A23) 20 odd years ago.

They had no customer care and used to pick on (and beat up) CUSTOMERS that they didn't like the look off.

We had Graham Moseley with us once and they still wouldn't let us in!

 

[beorhthelm]

there are two types of bouncer. the first, the ones refered to here, have huge egos, often into body building or drug dealing, and this is how they've got into door work - their size or buisness dealings. the second are just doing a well paid job, often students.

Dodgy, burly bouncers give the place an attitude from the start. I worked a particular bar in SE London where Friday usually had trouble and Saturday didnt - no conicidence that Fri team included several meat heads who wanted to work off their steroids. surprised theres hassle at the Funky Budda, given its target market you'd think they'd want to have the nice easy going type. Is there a shortage of door staff if they are recruiting east europeans?

 

[Springal]

Funky Buddha has always had absolutely SHOCKING bouncers. I avoid the place.

 

[fork me]

OK, 2c worth from someone who's been on the "other side".

During much of the 90s I DJ'd and promoted gig nights at loads of clubs and venues around town, I even did the odd spot of door work to help out as well. The clubs I did were very varied but included the Underground (old punk, indie and rock club in the basement of what's now the Standard), Swifts (old townie venue that's now the ground floor of the Standard!) through the Tavern Club (above PavTav), the Warehouse (RIP), the Gloucester (now Barfly), the Zap, the Richmond (now Pressure Point), among others. I even did a one off at the Paradox and my biggest gig promotion was at the East Wing (It made a loss of £800).

My general experience was that the vast majority of the door staff were great blokes. One night in Swifts I used to do was particularly mental (50p a drink all night on a Tuesday in the middle of West Street - nice!) and we'd never have survived doing it without bloody competent door staff. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew I could rely on them I'd never have done that night.

There are some bad examples out there, (in the old days the Paradox and the Event both had some right ****s working for them, as did Orianas, especially in the really old days when it was Coasters) however, in my experience most people who had bad experiences with bouncers were acting like twats and got what was coming to them. I've seen even the calmest doorman lose it under extreme duress, (some arsewipe threatened him with a broken bottle) as anyone can.

I'm still in touch with some of the doorstaff I knew from the old days, 3 are now running venues or clubs (one as owner, 2 as manager) and another nopw owns one of Brighton's biggest (and most reliable) security firms.

Deadbeat gorillas they're not.

Fork Me

 

[Peteinblack]

Never really been a night-club goer (except indie clubs or the Hungry Years in the early 1980s), but when it comes to pubs, my principle is if a pub has to have bouncers on the door, then it's a place to avoid - pubs which don't attract thick, violent, pissed-up, testosterone-fuelled neanderthals out to cause trouble don't need bouncers on the door in the first place.

 

[fork me]

Never really been a night-club goer (except indie clubs or the Hungry Years in the early 1980s), but when it comes to pubs, my principle is if a pub has to have bouncers on the door, then it's a place to avoid - pubs which don't attract thick, violent, pissed-up, testosterone-fuelled neanderthals out to cause trouble don't need bouncers on the door in the first place.

I don't think that's necessarily true.

As an example, the King and Queen (Marlborough Place) has bouncers on the door and I've never seen any trouble in there in over 20 years of frequenting the place (on and off!). They need them because they're a large and very visible pub in the center on the way into town.

Fork Me