Wedding disasters

[Man of Harveys]

I have an odd craving - in fact, I guess I have many. But, following on from the "best man" thread, I have one long-standing desire which simply refuses to go away until it's been done: I want to go to a wedding which goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Now, obviously I don't wish ill on my friends or people who are giving me food and drink. But anyone been to a wedding where the groom admits how much he hates his father in law in the speech or the bride drunkenly fucks the best man the night before?

 

[tedebear]

No, but I have been to a wedding where the bridesmaid got very drunk and the whole top of her dress fell off on the dance floor and she kept dancing!!

 

[crasher]

No, but I have been to a wedding where the bridesmaid got very drunk and the whole top of her dress fell off on the dance floor and she kept dancing!!

Yeah but....aren't you Australian?

 

[Trufflehound]

I have an odd craving - in fact, I guess I have many. But, following on from the "best man" thread, I have one long-standing desire which simply refuses to go away until it's been done: I want to go to a wedding which goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Now, obviously I don't wish ill on my friends or people who are giving me food and drink. But anyone been to a wedding where the groom admits how much he hates his father in law in the speech or the bride drunkenly fucks the best man the night before?

Didn't quite spoil the wedding itself, but...

When Mrs Trufflehound's brother got hitched a few years back, on the evening beforehand the bride's and groom's fathers had a "minor disagreement" after a few bottles of wine had been consumed each. Needless to say, these two fine upstanding elderly men set a great example to all and sundry by launching themselves at each other, with windmilling fists flying everywhere.

Mind you, this WAS in South Wales, so maybe this is considered normal behaviour at weddings there...

 

[crasher]

A friend went to a wedding where one of the guests died during the reception.

 

[Napper]

or fights ? a good old punch up story from a wedding would also suffice

 

[chip]

At my wife cousins "wedding", it transpired that the groom was already married. The reception in a dry Baptist hall was a very dour affair which didn't last too long.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

I went to a wedding of my Mrs's work colleague.

Anyway, we were all in the Church ( big one on Church Road in Hove) when a loud noise was heard outside.....followed by about 50 pissed up Irish people arrived ( the grooms family) being loud and obnoxious


Anyway, they all sat down eventually and the vicar did the vows etc and then got everyone to sit down and proceded to dewliver a diatribe about modern marriage, how people didnt believe in God they just wanted decent pictures and finally said that this marriage would not last if statistics were anything to go by!

Spookily, the marriage lasted 4 years only


I also went to a wedding at teh Royal Albion and there was a huge punch up between the families

 

[Robbie G]

Zinger

 

[Rangdo]

I went to a wedding where the groom let out a laugh when he had to repeat the "faithful" part of the speech.
Oops.

 

[Hannibal smith]

I went to an absolute peach.

The groom had half a cider, 5 pints of Stella and a conservative estimate of 13 glasses of Champagne before his speech. He was absolutely shitfaced although this wasn’t readily apparent before he spoke.

When the speeches arrived, the father of the bride was first off. At first the groom started interrupting which whilst being funny at first (4 times of I’d like to thank Ken for his kind words halfway through a sentence) soon became a question of ‘Is he pissed? When he was up to speak he ditched his hours of planning by pointing at everyone on the Stag do who had 2 private dancers at the strippers at the same time. This with a cry and much pointing of, You had a double double, You had a double double and You had a Double double before explaining, in detail, what it was. At this point the future wife of one left the room (luckily for me, I found a Heavy metal bar before the strippers which precluded me getting in any trouble) with a fall scale argument proceeding in the background.

After some more bizarre territory involving wedding day topics such as Porn, Golf and a revolving dance floor, The Father of the bride whispered that he should ‘Say something nice about Rebecca’ This was met with the obvious retort of ‘Don’t f***ing pressurise me’ At this point he raised his glass asking for a toast. Wiping our brows that he had come to his senses, his Toast was to ‘My best men, they kept me sober today’

It carried on all night. The first dance involved him falling over. Later on the Father of the bride started drinking again after 10 years on the wagon and the grooms mum said that his speech was ‘shit’ and that she would never speak to her son again.

Although I wasn’t there, the next day involved a family gathering which was apparently like a morgue and everyone commenting ‘How lovely the service was’

We all blamed the half a cider.

 

[tedebear]

Yeah but....aren't you Australian?

Yes - and?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

No, but I have been to a wedding where the bridesmaid got very drunk and the whole top of her dress fell off on the dance floor and she kept dancing!!

I am assuming it was a boob tube type thing she was wearing....

Edit: Good god! Boob tube!!? What has happened to me! Erm....Nice tits? Pics?!!

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

Tubby Mondays was my best man. Any further explanation needed ?

 

[Simster]

I went to a wedding where a waiter literally spilt an entire bottle of red wine all over the bride's dress.

A flatmate of mine once rolled in at 1am with a black eye after attending him mum's wedding. He walked into the lounge and said the immortal words "that man is a ****". The man being his now father-in-law with whom he had just indulged in a windmill fisted brawl on the dance floor. I wish I''d been there.

 

[Normal Rob]

I went to an absolute peach.

The groom had half a cider, 5 pints of Stella and a conservative estimate of 13 glasses of Champagne before his speech. He was absolutely shitfaced although this wasn?t readily apparent before he spoke.

When the speeches arrived, the father of the bride was first off. At first the groom started interrupting which whilst being funny at first (4 times of I?d like to thank Ken for his kind words halfway through a sentence) soon became a question of ?Is he pissed? When he was up to speak he ditched his hours of planning by pointing at everyone on the Stag do who had 2 private dancers at the strippers at the same time. This with a cry and much pointing of, You had a double double, You had a double double and You had a Double double before explaining, in detail, what it was. At this point the future wife of one left the room (luckily for me, I found a Heavy metal bar before the strippers which precluded me getting in any trouble) with a fall scale argument proceeding in the background.

After some more bizarre territory involving wedding day topics such as Porn, Golf and a revolving dance floor, The Father of the bride whispered that he should ?Say something nice about Rebecca? This was met with the obvious retort of ?Don?t f***ing pressurise me? At this point he raised his glass asking for a toast. Wiping our brows that he had come to his senses, his Toast was to ?My best men, they kept me sober today?

It carried on all night. The first dance involved him falling over. Later on the Father of the bride started drinking again after 10 years on the wagon and the grooms mum said that his speech was ?shit? and that she would never speak to her son again.

Although I wasn?t there, the next day involved a family gathering which was apparently like a morgue and everyone commenting ?How lovely the service was?

We all blamed the half a cider.

is it just me who wants to know what a 'double double' is?!?!?

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

is it just me who wants to know what a 'double double' is?!?!?

Yes. The rest of us can read.

 

[tedebear]

I am assuming it was a boob tube type thing she was wearing....

Edit: Good god! Boob tube!!? What has happened to me! Erm....Nice tits? Pics?!!

He he Bof you child of the 80's Boob Tube!! - it was a straplessy top which burst at the back and whammo - out it all came - nothing too disastrous - aside from the fact that she just kept dancing drunkenly in a reception room of about 150 people....

 

[Man of Harveys]

He he Bof you child of the 80's Boob Tube!! - it was a straplessy top which burst at the back and whammo - out it all came - nothing too disastrous - aside from the fact that she just kept dancing drunkenly in a reception room of about 150 people....

I keep hoping in my mind's eye that it was a SLOW dance...

 

[Kylies Stunt Arse]

I keep hoping in my mind's eye that it was a SLOW dance...

No, some sort of jig would be better!