Weather alert: Big Freeze Coming Next Week

[Highfields Seagull]

A Fishboy is a diminutive of Michael fish i.e. the doubting Thomas of the Beeb who authoritatively informed Mrs. Ethel Scroggs, a caller, that 'Ho-ho-ho There4 Won't Be Any Hurricane' a full half dozen hours before every mature tree in Brighton was blown to the ground in Nineteen Eighty Something.

I was reading the other day that Michael Fish was technically correct. It wasn't a hurricane that hit the South Coast in 1987, though admittedly they were very strong winds. Being a heavy sleeper I slept through the lot, and was bewildered to find the neighbour's roof in the road when I opened the curtains in the morning.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Presumably the people who are predicting this freezing spell are the same ones who forecast hurricane force winds a couple of weeks back, when it turned out to be a bit breezy but no more.

Meridian TV will be delighted, they have a field day whenever it does get a bit nippy. I remember a couple of years back they had one of their shock horror, "SOUTH PARALYSED BY BLIZZARD CONDITIONS!" headlines, and then cut to a reporter standing on a roundabout in Bracknell or somewhere, where there was, oooh, a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground and traffic moving freely.

I suppose they don't have much to report on other than Pompey being down to the bare bones again, and pet hamsters in Boscombe which go into a squeaking frenzy whenever the music from Ready Steady Cook comes on TV, so they have to make the most of it whenever the slightest bit of "news" comes about....

 

[Gary Nelson]

Considering your track record with the gee-gees Gareth, Im expecting such 'a big freeze' that I will have to open my fridge to keep warm..

 

[Jambo Seagull]

The God that is John Kettley said on five live this morning that this will be a short sharp snap over by Wednesday so I would hope Plymouth will still be on. I'm expecting a shitload of snow on Monday morning up here. Deep joy.

 

[Yorkie]

I was reading the other day that Michael Fish was technically correct. It wasn't a hurricane that hit the South Coast in 1987, though admittedly they were very strong winds. Being a heavy sleeper I slept through the lot, and was bewildered to find the neighbour's roof in the road when I opened the curtains in the morning.

True the winds were 5mph short of hurricane force and were in fact registered as storm force.

THE BEAUFORT WIND SCALE
One of the first scales to estimate wind speeds and the effects was
created by Britain's Admiral Sir Francis Beaufort (1774-1857). He
developed the scale in 1805 to help sailors estimate the winds via
visual observations. The scale starts with 0 and goes to a force of 12.
The Beaufort scale is still used today to estimate wind strengths.



The Beaufort scale:


BEAUFORT SCALE: Specifications and equivalent speeds for use on land
FORCE EQUIVALENT SPEED DESCRIPTION SPECIFICATIONS FOR USE ON LAND
10 m above ground
miles/hour knots
0 0-1 0-1 Calm Calm; smoke rises verticall.
1 1-3 1-3 Light air Direction of wind shown by
smoke drift, but not by wind
vanes.
2 4-7 4-6 Light Breeze Wind felt on face; leaves
rustle; ordinary vanes moved
by wind.
3 8-12 7-10 Gentle Breeze Leaves and small twigs in
constant motion; wind extends
light flag.
4 13-18 11-16 Moderate Breeze Raises dust and loose paper;
small branches are moved.
5 19-24 17-21 Fresh Breeze Small trees in leaf begin to
sway; crested wavelets form on
inland waters.
6 25-31 22-27 Strong Breeze Large branches in motion;
whistling heard in telegraph
wires; umbrellas used with
difficulty.
7 32-38 28-33 Near Gale Whole trees in motion;
inconvenience felt when walking
against the wind.
8 39-46 34-40 Gale Breaks twigs off trees;
generally impedes progress.
9 47-54 41-47 Severe Gale Slight structural damage occurs
(chimney-pots and slates removed).
10 55-63 48-55 Storm Seldom experienced inland; trees
uprooted; considerable structural
damage occurs.
11 64-72 56-63 Violent Storm Very rarely experienced;
accompanied by wide-spread damage.
12 73-83 64-71 Hurricane --

 

[Shegull]

Hey I'm coming over next Friday have the match on saturday, my birthday on sunday and back home again on Monday night - so if you think that MY weekend is going to be spoilt or cancelled because of snow you have another thing coming.



As of now there is to be no more mention of snow.

Thank you very much.

 

[bhafc99]

I was in charge of the school weather station for a time...

Michael Fish went to school in Eastbourne - Eastbourne College*. When I was a pupil there (mid 80s, before his hurricane gaffe) he came back to do a speech. His opening words were along the lines of:

"When I was here it was an all boys school, but I'm glad to see it's boys and girls now. Perhaps we could move all the girls down to the first few rows so I can see their legs..."

Cue one of those classic tumbleweed-blowing cringe-moments where what's fine to say to someone of his generation goes down like a lead balloon with ours.

* Yes, I know, it's a private school...

 

[Lady Whistledown]

BEAUFORT SCALE: Specifications and equivalent speeds for use on land
FORCE EQUIVALENT SPEED DESCRIPTION SPECIFICATIONS FOR USE ON LAND
10 m above ground
miles/hour knots
0 0-1 0-1 Calm Kerry Mayo's passes largely land within 10 yards of an Albion player. Leon Knight struggling to stand up. Paul Kitson suffers shoulder strain trying to keep his hair from being blown about gently.

1 1-3 1-3 Light air Paul Watson tends to slice clearances with right foot. Mayo clearances drift toward dugout.

2 4-7 4-6 Light Breeze Paul Watson clearances with either foot now sliced badly. Ball boys in danger. Ben Roberts throw outs go into touch.

3 8-12 7-10 Gentle Breeze Passes forward to Leon drift straight over his head to opposing keeper. Butters' shirt starts to rustle gently on his well developed figure. Roberts starts to miss crosses in comedy manner.

4 13-18 11-16 Moderate Breeze South Stand crowd starting to get a bit windswept. Noticeable creaking from scaffolding underneath seats.

5 19-24 17-21 Fresh Breeze Martin Perry's toupee lifts slightly from scalp. South Stand crowd showered with leaves and falling squirrrels.

6 25-31 22-27 Strong Breeze Watson and Oatway passes now a significant threat to life in the South Stand. Leon Knight blown over in opponents' penalty area, pleads with referee for spot kick.

7 32-38 28-33 Near Gale Richard Carpenter's caravan tipped over on to side. Players in danger from flying badgers in the nature reserve.

8 39-46 34-40 Gale Leon Knight blown away, later found in Seaford. Danny Cullip's shouting no longer audible amid noise of wind. Carpenter's caravan now completely destroyed, dog on string now missing and bricks propping up car wheels are blown away.

9 47-54 41-47 Severe Gale Roof over the North Stand begins to lift alarmingly. Martin Perry now completely bald. Dick Knight's shirt slightly ruffled.

10 55-63 48-55 Storm Portakabin dressing rooms lifted from their foundations, away team last seen flying in direction of Dieppe. Hammer net flattened. North Stand is now uncovered seating (Albion charge double for next game as fans may now get a suntan while watching).

11 64-72 56-63 Violent Storm Residents of Tongdean Lane complain to the council that the noise from the weather is the Albion's fault, and demand extra litter patrols to remove the leaves from their gardens. Trees blown down, South Stand crushed, residents blame club for destruction of natural habitat.

12 73-83 64-71 Hurricane Only Guy Butters remains standing. South Stand now resembles West Pier, parts of structure later found in Worthing, Horsham and Cornwall. Falmer residents claim that the weather is clear proof that a new stadium would be a danger to life and demand a review of public enquiry result.

 

[Bozza]

Edna - was that adapted from an old Scars & Stripes article we did? Reads very familiar from what I remember...

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Nope, don't remember that one!

Just bored at work. Great minds think alike eh?

 

[Bozza]

From my beer-befuddled memory - it reads like the same article brought up to date with current day player names etc. I'll try and dig out the Gillingham era one some time.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

oh dear. Plagiarism alert!

Never really saw Scars & Stripes. I was just having a less than exciting day at work when whoever stuck down the wind scale above inspired me momentarily.

JK Rowling has the same problem all the time I hear....

 

[Bozza]

Stop thief!

 

[aftershavedave]

even though gg's tips are usually rubbish, he's onto a cert with this one. there's a snowballs chance in hell (to borrow topical phrase) of -5 next weekend in brighton!!!

 

[Scoffers]

It won't even snow, those goddam weather freaks never get it right

 

[Virgo's Haircut]

It's gonna be damn cold I imagine, but I very much doubt we'll get much snow, if any!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Please, please let it snow, preferably about 6ft between Burgess Hill and Crawley, next Monday morning before 7am.

Thank you God.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Bit nippy out tonight...

 

[South Stand Zealot]

"The Hurricane" in 1987 was not a hurricane but "an explosively deepening wave depression" !!!

Hence all the thousands of tornados that did all the damage. No one saw them cos it was night time.

Now if it does get real cold I'm chaining the girlfriend to my four poster - what else could a chap want but a nice warm cuddly cuddlier on constant tap ?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Today + 9 c - Sunny
Sunday + 7c - Sunny
Monday + 5c - Light rain

Average for January is + 6-7 c.

No frost on any nights.

Wow what a big freeze !. Not. Tom can you send me the cheque for £ 20 now and I will pay it into the account.

Thanks.

Gareth