Vanessa Feltz's latest diet

[Stat Brother]

Whilst glancing at the magazine rack, in the supermarket, I noticed the front cover of one of those pointless magazines.

There's Vanessa proudly proclaiming she 'lost 2 stone in 8 weeks'.

I couldn't help but wonder if we added her combined 'shout it from the roof tops' weight loss, over the years, how many actually people would it equate too.

I personally I'm going to go for the equivalent weight of England Rugby's front row forwards.

 

[sir albion]

Can't stand the fat whore

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Hmmm, isn't Vanessa losing two stone a little like trying to refloat the Titanic by chucking a couple of suitcases over the side?

Admiral sentiment, but barely noticeable looking at the overall picture.

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

When I was at university I was playing a drinking game of some kind in the bar one night and said something along the lines of: "Yuck! I'd rather shag Vanessa Feltz than her." A very quiet girl at the other end of the table who I didn't really know then piped up: "She's my aunty".

 

[KNC]

Vanessa Feltz has just been arrested going through customs at Gatwick................................














They found 20lbs of crack in her knickers.



'I thank you'

 

[Drumstick]

(damm short message thing)