Train ticket bollocks

[Herr Tubthumper]

I can see exactly how it will pan out Sim, just as you pull in to Stevenage the ticket inspector will come and check your ticket. On seeing your first ticket he'll question why you aren't getting up to alight from the train (obviously in a really nasal voice), at which point you will produce your second ticket for the continuation of your journey. This is the point at which I foresee him uttering the words "I'm afraid your ticket is only valid if you leave the train at Stevenage sir". You'll have to disembark the train and re-board to be greeted by your new friend "your second ticket is only valid for new passengers on this service, you have already been on this train so you will have to purchase a new ticket".

And you just know train employees like Ernest will wank off to this scenario.

 

[KneeOn]

Brighton - Portsmouth and Brighton - Seaford trains have no toilets on them.

And dont' I know it.

Southern have made me get a bike, their service is so shite.

 

[Commander]

Good of you all, not to give up your seats for her.

She was rank.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

She was rank.

Fair enough. Nobody wants an ugly bird sitting near them, especially one that might spew.

 

[The Large One]

Tremendous customer service.

I can only hope the drivers and revenue protection officers have got their own private toilet on board. Otherwise they'll only strike.

I contacted Southern about this, and asked why there were doing it.

Apparently, 90% of the people who take this train don't use it for the whole journey, therefore toilets were not deemed necessary. I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of their reason for doing it.

Apparently, as laid down in law, train companies are not obliged to offer toilet facilities on any of their trains.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I contacted Southern about this, and asked why there were doing it.

Apparently, 90% of the people who take this train don't use it for the whole journey, therefore toilets were not deemed necessary. I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of their reason for doing it.

Write back to them, and tell them that the fire extinguishers are hardly EVER used, and that emergency cord is a complete waste of space on 99% of journeys.

 

[Simster]

Write back to them, and tell them that the fire extinguishers are hardly EVER used, and that emergency cord is a complete waste of space on 99% of journeys.

Same goes for the revenue protection mongs.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Same goes for the revenue protection mongs.

Not at all. They are essential on all journeys, to prevent people from cheating the system, by um, buying the cheapest fares..

 

[Simster]

Not at all. They are essential on all journeys, to prevent people from cheating the system, by um, buying the cheapest fares..

What about HEATERS? The train companies don't seem to think they ever need to be used. Unless of course it is 30 degrees centigrade outside, obviously.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

What about HEATERS? The train companies don't seem to think they ever need to be used. Unless of course it is 30 degrees centigrade outside, obviously.

I can't comment on that, as I never use trains. I'm simply not clever enough to fathom out how to buy a ticket.

 

[Badger]

What about HEATERS? The train companies don't seem to think they ever need to be used. Unless of course it is 30 degrees centigrade outside, obviously.

They are incredibly useful if the bottom half of your leg is cold.

 

[Simster]

They are incredibly useful if the bottom half of your leg is cold during a hot spell.

Fixed. They are rarely switched on when it is cold outside.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

To be honest, once people have pissed on the floor, for lack of a toilet, you'll be glad the heaters are not on.

 

[Notters]

I thought the title of this thread was an insult for a person with black stripes down their testicles.

NSC post of the year

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I contacted Southern about this, and asked why there were doing it.

Apparently, 90% of the people who take this train don't use it for the whole journey, therefore toilets were not deemed necessary. I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of their reason for doing it.

Apparently, as laid down in law, train companies are not obliged to offer toilet facilities on any of their trains.

They definitely wont now, because they will have to get off as they're busting for a piss.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

They definitely wont now, because they will have to get off as they're busting for a piss.

...and fine you for breaking your journey.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

What do you expect from something that is 30 years old ?

If that is the case then please may I pay prices based on what they were 30 years ago.

That argument is like going into a restaurant and being charged £70 a head for some old slop served up during the f***ing blitz.

All i think people are saying is please sort it out as you have no compunction in charging me prices that go up ahead of inflation every year but when we ask for a service that matches those prices we can frankly go whistle dixie.

And that's before those Nazi f***ing inspectors board the train on the premise they seem to have that every fucker on the whole train is trying to defraud the railways.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

They definitely wont now, because they will have to get off as they're busting for a piss.

But don;t you dare complain when the driver doesnt turn up and your train is delayed by an hour becuase he was having his lunch. And when you ask whether you get a refund?

Of course you are told to Frank Bough.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

paying full fare for a bus replacement service

 

[See-Goals]

More importantly why aren't train guards issued tazers to neutralise snorers, sniffers, people who can't sit still and people playing loud music through shit earphones?