The secret diary of Dick Tight aged 12 1/2

[Ernest]

Today I am so depressed why does everyone hate me at school so much ? In fact I've only two friends in the entire school, Martin the Trainspotter and I really wish sometimes he'd take his anorak off as it is beginning to ming a bit and why does he tuck his shirt into his underpants ? How uncool is that ? And my other friend is Fat Norman, well he is not really my friend but he is richer than me and when I'm skint I can tap him up for a few bob to spend in the tuck shop.

Anyway I'm going to show them as I'm going to run the school football team and build them a new ground to play on and then everyone will like me and I'll be so popular. Mummy told me not to be stupid as it costs millions of pounds to build a football ground and she said how could I afford it on 10p pocket money a week ? She doesn't understand I'm only going to promise to build it and everytime someone asks me where the ground is I'll tell them that the deputy headmaster won't give me the playing fields to build a new stand.

The trouble is that beastly Ernest in Year 7 is going around telling everyone that I'm potless and a bullshitter and all the children are starting to believe him and they are now telling me that if I don't build the ground this year they are going to expel me.
I keep trying to frighten them by saying if you expel me then those two nasty bullies from Year 13 , One eyed Bill and Dirty Dave will come back to the school but they were expelled years ago and no one believes me anymore.

I'm so miserable now why won't all the boys believe me ? I fooled those two saps Ponsey Paul and Attila the Hen who run the school mag and they wrote loads of things saying I was the saviour of the school team and without me we wouldn't have a team but now everyone realises the truth about me.

Whatever can I do ?


Dick Tight aged 12 1/2

 

[Marc]

genius

 

[Set of Tracksuits]

quite funny - but still bollocks.

 

[Seagull73]

Change the record, that stops if from being funny......

 

[METALMICKY]

Easy 10 Wannabee eh Ernest? Not funny and the same old drivel.

Have you ever answered this basic question? Where are all the billionaires just lining up to invest in Brighton so Dick Knight can step aside?

 

[Albion Dan]

Top Drawer post, best of the close season!

 

[Soul Finger]

Yeah, brilliant. Very funny.

Why didn't you spend the 30 minutes it took you to write that shite composing something constructive, informative, educational or simply funny.

I really can't believe the apathy that surrounds this club. Does anyone remember Hereford, Gillingham, Mahoney-Johnson, Ashley Neal etc. We have come a hell of a long way in seven years (barring the Falmer situ).

Yeah, I'm a bit concerned about the lack of transfer activity but the season doesn't start for over three weeks. What's the point of whinging and moaning all the time.

What does it actually achieve? I'll tell you, f*** ALL.

 

[FG aka Football Genius.]

Ernest you too are a genius

 

[Finchley Seagull]

I am sure that if Dick Knight had an offer from somebody with more money than him who had the club's best interests at heart then he would accept it. As Dick Knight is still Chairman there is no billionaire or multi millionaire who has offered to buy us. Knight has taken this club back to Brighton from Gillingham and hopefully to a new stadium. Whatever he has done he believed was in the interests of the club at the time. He may not have the money of other Chairmen but there are none I would prefer leading Brighton. Look at what is happening to clubs currently and has happened in the past. Until Ernest, FG etc can bring this billionaire Albion supporter to Dick Knight I believe he will have support from the vast majority of Brighton fans.

 

[METALMICKY]

I am sure that if Dick Knight had an offer from somebody with more money than him who had the club's best interests at heart then he would accept it. As Dick Knight is still Chairman there is no billionaire or multi millionaire who has offered to buy us. Knight has taken this club back to Brighton from Gillingham and hopefully to a new stadium. Whatever he has done he believed was in the interests of the club at the time. He may not have the money of other Chairmen but there are none I would prefer leading Brighton. Look at what is happening to clubs currently and has happened in the past. Until Ernest, FG etc can bring this billionaire Albion supporter to Dick Knight I believe he will have support from the vast majority of Brighton fans.

In a nutshell! Well said. Everytime some twat comes on Harty's phone declaring "DK should move over" i want to scream!

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

What's the point of whinging and moaning all the time.

Because we care about the club, and at the moment we are deeply concerned that we are going to be out of our depth next season without new players...........and we all look at Sky Sports News, ceefax, newpapers, etc, etc and see other Division 1 teams bringing new players into their squad and we see our club doing nothing (to date).

That's why we get uptight

 

[Soul Finger]

Ninja,

Mate, I know what caring about the club is like, I've been doing it all my life.

Is it really necessary to harp on and whinge constantly though? It achieves nothing.

How about suggestions or thought-provoking debate. To reiterate what many people have already said, there's no one out there with shed loads of cash.

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

Ninja,

Mate, I know what caring about the club is like, I've been doing it all my life.

Is it really necessary to harp on and whinge constantly though? It achieves nothing.

How about suggestions or thought-provoking debate. To reiterate what many people have already said, there's no one out there with shed loads of cash.

Excuse me, I haven't whinged once today!

All I done is given a reason for why so people on NSC are getting a little fraught with the lack of activity (whether real or perceived) on the transfer front at BHA FC, as most people are in agreement that the current squad is not strong enough to compete in Division 1 next season.

That's not me moaning, that just me stating a fact as I see it

 

[Icy Gull]

Ernest , change the set to an old folks home and you've got a sequel.

 

[Albion Dan]

The lack of sense of humour on this thread really disturbs me.

 

[CHAPPERS]

The lack of sense of humour on this thread really disturbs me.

Quite, I think the content is bollocks but it is funny to see the predicament from a 12 year olds point of view.

Lighten up guys, he's trying to amuse you, no need toturn this thread into another debate on the running of the club, there's plenty of them knocking around already.

 

[Soul Finger]

Er, that wasn't aimed at you, Ninja.

It was a general point otherwise I would have said 'Ninja, is it really blah blah........'.

Totally agree with Albion Dan. The humour quoitant on here has diminished big time. Ernest's post at the top certainly underlines the fact.

We need some crap jokes...

Heard about the magic tractor?

It went down the lane and turned into a field.

 

[Marc]

Er, that wasn't aimed at you, Ninja.

It was a general point otherwise I would have said 'Ninja, is it really blah blah........'.

Totally agree with Albion Dan. The humour quoitant on here has diminished big time. Ernest's post at the top certainly underlines the fact.

We need some crap jokes...

Heard about the magic tractor?

It went down the lane and turned into a field.

cheesy jokes RULE!

Its the whole NSC posters are further up their own arses then their last boyfriend syndrome....that cant see wit/humour/sarcasm....take the "JP Says Yes" threads, obviously someone mucking about and yet people jump down their throats with "not funny" quotes.....GET OVER IT......its an internet messageboard, itshere during the day to appease us who have boredom at work, if you dont like it dont read it....simple!
On the subject of Ernests post, it just comes across to me as funny...it made me chuckle and I'm happy with that!

 

[Soul Finger]

Crabtree BHA. The voice of reason!

Fair point, well made. Just like mine (ducks for cover!).

 

[Beach Hut]

Quality Ernest - well played son