The return of the NSC limerick contest

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Haven't played this for ages! Come up with some Albion-based limericks to go with the following opening lines:

"The problem with Withdean's south stand"

"A striker who came from the Congo"

"While having a pint in the Swan"


I'll do one to start off...

The problem with Withdean's south stand
Is the water has nowhere to land
When the weather is minging,
So the people who're singing
You can count with the use of one hand

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

The problem with Withdean's south stand
is it just wasn't very well planned
so now I'm wishin'
for planning permission
for a treehouse, 'cause that'd be grand.

 

[Turgid]

While having a drink in the Swan
I was told by a man I was wrong
There was no need to build
On a beatiful field
"Keep Falmer free from the throng".

He was ignorant, stupid and blind
God knows what went on in his mind
I said "Falmer for all
Is our clarion call"
I really despise all his kind.

"I'm a NIMBY" he said with some pride
"you are scum" he sneered as an aside
I was firm but polite as I set him alight
"Join the bonfire - you'll find Archer inside".

 

[Lammy]

While having a drink in the Swan
I was told by a man I was wrong
There was no need to build
On a beatiful field
"Keep Falmer free from the throng".

He was ignorant, stupid and blind
God knows what went on in his mind
I said "Falmer for all
Is our clarion call"
I really despise all his kind.

"I'm a NIMBY" he said with some pride
"you are scum" he sneered as an aside
I was firm but polite as I set him alight
"Join the bonfire - you'll find Archer inside".

That last verse id nothing short of pure genius!

 

[On the Left Wing]

A striker who came from the Congo
Was having a play with his bongo
When a midfielder called Lee
Stopped by for a pee
Then pulled his plonker alongo alongo