The NSC thread of useful WISDOM

[El Presidente]

Don't use Tea Tree and Mint shower gel if you have piles.

That is all.

 

[Scotty Mac]

why?

 

[vegster]

Its great fun if you are showering prior to Jiggin' wid ya Julie !

 

[hans kraay fan club]

He and Julie are just friends.

 

[Jahooli]

Has Julie joined the young farmers as well as EP?

When frying sausages and they go bent use cocktail sticks to balance them on their uncooked backs...2 bangers next to each other 1 cocktail stick each end of the paired-up bangers...much easier to turn them...obviously the cooked sides are next to each other.

 

[NMH]

Don't touch any of your bits, or rub your eyes after dicing habanero peppers.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Never run with scissors in your hands

 

[dougdeep]

Never drink beer that is less than 4% proof.

 

[skipper734]

Presumably a similar reason as to why you don't touch your ballbag after using deep heat.

I only know, having been told by a lady, that some people do this on purpose for some reason.

 

[Box of Frogs]

Don't eat yellow snow

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

If you make a face and the wind changes direction then your face will STAY like that

 

[Higham Seagull Army]

Try not to come into close contact with any palace fans - they offer a wide range of diseases.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Please stay off the pitch til Sam And The Lads have completed a lap of honour

 

[Taybha]

Always wear clean underpants just in case you get run over,was my mum the only person ever to say that ? i would of thought if you were hit by a speeding car the odds on you shitting yourself would be evens at best so was she winding me up or just making sure i washed my arse.

 

[skipper734]

Always wear clean underpants just in case you get run over,was my mum the only person ever to say that ? i would of thought if you were hit by a speeding car the odds on you shitting yourself would be evens at best so was she winding me up or just making sure i washed my arse.

No it's the default setting for Mum's, and take a clean hanky!

 

[Norman Potting]

The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

[The Large One]

Too many cocks spoil the brothel.

 

[Nottseagull]

The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The second mouse can get a lot more than just the cheese....

 

[pasty]

When doing the food shopping online, don't order pizza for tonight when your delivery slot is 10-12 tomorrow.


*Yes, I have just done that

 

[Superphil]

Please stay off the pitch til Sam And The Lads have completed a lap of honour

I have just spilled stuff