Was walking down the road the other day, feeling very smug and HAPPY with myself for not having tripped over the kerb as I usually do, wondering what I should buy the wife for her BIRTHDAY, when I suddenly realised I was on my way TO the pub. Three hours later on the way home I walked into a lamppost, at which time I thought to myself "YOU plonker." I ERNEST-ly hope I won't be doing that again in a hurry.