Southern Railway's BLOODY STUPID bicycle policy

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

So after a nice couple of days watching cricket and eating curry with my brother and sister in law in Brighton, I pedalled back to the station well in time for the 1849 to Clapham Junction. Fifteen minutes early, in fact. And the train was already there. Great. Plenty of time to avoid the crush and get my bike strapped up inside.

"You can't take that on there," said the first of the day's UTTERLY humourless Southern Railway officials, "it's before 7pm."

I put on my slightly-exasperated-yet-trying-to-elicit-sympathy face. "Oh, go on. I'll put it on early, and it's not exactly busy."

"Sorry," replied Utterly Humourless, "it's policy." And he referred me to the station manager. "Can I go on the 1849 with my bike please?" I asked him

"No," he said. "We've had meetings with people like you and decided what the policy is." (It turns out some cyclists' representatives have talked to the railway company and the commuters' groups)

The station manager also insisted that "hundreds" of people wanted to commute from Brighton TO London at 7pm and that the train would be "rammed". Not much evidence, with ten minutes left, of any "ramming".

But he had a solution: "You can go on the First Capital Connect at 1837" I asked why, and pointed out that there was no proper cycle storage. "Because that's what the commuters say you can do."

So with minutes to spare, I got on the FOUR carriage STOPPING train at 1837, and parked my bike awkwardly in the aisle, just where the handlebars threatened to take out the kidneys of others getting on the train. Because I wasn't allowed to use the TWELVE carriage FAST train with proper storage facilities for SIX bikes.

Obviously, the people who got on at Gatwick, with loads of suitcases, were DELIGHTED to have to fight past my bike. And I had to CHANGE at East Croydon, which meant lugging my bike around a bit, and possibly annoying more people there. Oh, and I arrived at Clapham Junction about 20 minutes LATER than I would have on the 1849.

I don't know WHO came up with Southern Railway's "policy" on bikes on uncrowded trains leaving Brighton a few minutes before 7pm, but I suspect that somewhere, a village is missing its idiot.

 

[Yoda]

I thought the policy was no bikes on train's LEAVING London before 7PM?

 

[REDLAND]

its an absolutely crazy policy I for one can no longer take the train to work when I need to, as without my bike its an absolute nightmare getting to the office at the other end..

In today climate of saving energy this policy is absolutely thoughtless, and don't get me started on the nightmare it causes on the London To Brighton Sunday ..

 

[Easy 10]

Bloody cyclists. Always moaning.

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

I've just emailed an edited version of that diatribe to comments@southernrailway.com. For a laugh, I had a guess at the email address of the managing director, Chris Burchell, as well.

I've just had his out-of-office auto reply.

Bloody marvellous.

 

[Mendoza]

the day of the London to Brighton bike ride, bikes are BANNED from trains meaning people have to go by car, congesting the town centre making it virtually impossible to move the traffic it has caused.

The greenist way to get around the city not on foot causes the most carnage in the city throughout the whole year

 

[clapham_gull]

I agree, but if any cyclists decide to ride their bikes through Clapham onto Stockwell, could I just remind them that a red light means stop and not ride your bike towards me as I'm crossing the road.

Nice one.

 

[BensGrandad]

I was on the No 40X bus friom Princess Royal to Sussex Eye Hospital and some clown got on that in Burgess Hill with a fold up bike and got off at The Steyne.

 

[pishhead]

I was on the No 40X bus friom Princess Royal to Sussex Eye Hospital and some clown got on that in Burgess Hill with a fold up bike and got off at The Steyne.

And why does that make him a clown?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

the day of the London to Brighton bike ride, bikes are BANNED from trains

The bizarre thing is that this policy applies to all Southern trains in the area, regardless.

Fortunately, some of the staff see the idiocy of this and (for example) let people get on a train with a bike at Berwick if the train is going towards Eastbourne.

 

[BensGrandad]

And why does that make him a clown?

The luggage racks on buses are meant for bags etc of shoppers. Iif he wanted to use his bike in Brighton why wasnt he pedalling it, its only about 8 - 10 miles and it takes the bus 55 mins so it wouldn't have taken him much longer if he was that keen.

I can understand putting a bike on the train because there is plenty of room but on a bus no way.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

My favourite is still the fact you cannot buy a day return from Hove to Gatwick as 'it isnt far enough away'.....but you can buy a day return from Worthing to Gatwick (from Hove station) which is cheaper than two Hove-Gatwick singles.

This for me sums up the stupidity of the rail system.

You need a degree in logistics AND be Sherlock Holmes to obtain the cheapest train ticket these days.......something the rail operators are legally obliged to sell you.

 

[Simster]

I agree with the Clown. It's a shambles and I find it equally frustrating that I can't take my bike to London with me from Redhill in the mornings.

You can debate the rights and wrongs of a privatised rail system all day, but surely it is a simple FACT that the tories FUCKE IT UP COMPLETELY in the manner in which they sold it off. The fact that this ludicrous bicycle policy is allowed to take precedent over a national integrated transport policy is case in point, IMO.

 

[Horton's halftime iceberg]

The train companys differ and unfourtunatly Southern are one of the worst. It comes from the top, the managing director is very anti bike in his language.

I travelled for years on the peak time trains with a bike and only once could'nt get on the train due to numbers. Its one of the wierdest things going, bikes and trains go so well togeher, sorry to hear you had this problem. Bet you won't get any apology or recognition that their are easier solutions that could make them money.

 

[British Bulldog]

The problem we seem to have here is too many people assuming that train operating company's are there to cater for passengers and they're needs, Forget it those days are gone! Everything these days is geared up to performance and that will take preference over everything else, Unfortunately passengers ( or customers as they like them to be known ) and they're requirements are well down the pecking order now. It's not right, In fact it's plain wrong, But thats the way the privatised rail system works these days.

 

[sully]

My favourite is still the fact you cannot buy a day return from Hove to Gatwick as 'it isnt far enough away'.....but you can buy a day return from Worthing to Gatwick (from Hove station) which is cheaper than two Hove-Gatwick singles.

This for me sums up the stupidity of the rail system.

You need a degree in logistics AND be Sherlock Holmes to obtain the cheapest train ticket these days.......something the rail operators are legally obliged to sell you.

The best one I discovered (completely by accident) is that if you want a return ticket to Victoria without using the tube afterwards, it's actually cheaper to buy a return to Denmark Hill via Victoria. Ludicrous.

 

[beorhthelm]

The best one I discovered (completely by accident) is that if you want a return ticket to Victoria without using the tube afterwards, it's actually cheaper to buy a return to Denmark Hill via Victoria. Ludicrous.

i'll think you'll find thats because you aren't terminating at Victoria and wont/shouldnt get though the barriers with that ticket. however, since i dont thinks its possible to switch platforms without go out onto the concourse, no doubt this little rouse does work.

 

[sully]

i'll think you'll find thats because you aren't terminating at Victoria and wont/shouldnt get though the barriers with that ticket. however, since i dont thinks its possible to switch platforms without go out onto the concourse, no doubt this little rouse does work.

It lets you through the barriers. I've done it many times.
As you say, you can't change platforms (or even work out which one you need to go to) without going through the barriers first.

I discovered it after months of going to Denmark Hill twice a week and then having a meeting in Victoria and realising the ticket was more expensive. I thought I'd pressed the wrong buttons on the ticket machine at first.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

My favourite rail story is when I once boarded a train to Victoria. Upon producing my Thameslink ticket I was asked to pay a penalty as I was not on a Thameslink train. I pointed out that the train had Thameslink in huge letters down the side. It was pointed out to me that the rolling stock was on hire...and I was actually on a Southern train (or whoever ran the service then). I suggested I should not have to check from whom the rolling stock is hired prior to starting a journey. After 10-15 minutes of debate I noticed the conductors name badge...I asked him if his name was John. He said it was, I said to him that it is not unreasonable to expect your name to be John given your name badge says so.........and therefore it is no unreasonable to expect a train with huge Thameslink wording down the side to be a Thameslink. This was the clincher. With a few cheers from the carriage I was able to travel as I had hoped.

A total farce.

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Well, they've sent me a very po-faced letter which includes the immortal phrases: "We're sorry you're unhappy with our decision to actually enforce our long-standing cycle policy"

and

"Staff have had difficulty walking through trains which had a negative impact on safety, security and revenue protection... [we found] the presence of cycles was causing occasional damage to vehicle interiors..."

I'm not sure why they don't just say: "We hate you smelly bearded sandal-eating, Guardian-wearing, muesli-reading cyclists, and we just want more room on our trains for people in smart clothes whose employers pay lots of money to us for them to travel around tapping away on laptops"