Should using drugs stop you seeing your kids?

[Chicken Runner61]

I don't mean the really hard drugs but smoking weed & alcohol.......

Nowadays many people smoke weed and take recreational drugs and even more drink a lot in the evenings and weekends but do you think that should all stop when you have kids?

Did you know that it could be used against you later on in life?


Reason I ask is that someone I know has been asked to provide a test for Drink and drugs just so he can have his kids 1 day more every month to take them to see their grandmother up north! The tests cost about £1k for both - the alcohol one is loads more than the drugs (strangely)

He already sees his kids every other weekend and never needed to take a test then.

If he doesn't take them its likely he will be refused the extra day and they will probably stop his other contact.

If he takes the tests and passes (he will almost certainly) they will probably order him to take some more

I should add that this is the order of the family court system who seem to be a law unto their own and can find you guilty without trial or evidence.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I purchased a bottle of vodka in 2002. The vodka was bottled in Bombay in 1989 and cost me £3. It almost stopped me from seeing anything.

 

[DerbyGull]

If you want to set a good example to your kids then you don't want to be monged out on weed or pissed up on drink. If you've got a past where you took drugs+drink but are now clean then that shouldn't be a barrier to being a good parent and having regular access to your kids imo.

 

[bhaexpress]

It's not just a case of setting a good example (although that in itself should be enough) it's the fact that your kids might help themselves, either because they think they're sweets or just because you do. You cannot tell kids not to do something that you do.

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

Is there any evidence to suggest that he has a drink and drugs problem?

 

[Gwylan]

I don't mean the really hard drugs but smoking weed & alcohol.......

Nowadays many people smoke weed and take recreational drugs and even more drink a lot in the evenings and weekends but do you think that should all stop when you have kids?

Did you know that it could be used against you later on in life?


Reason I ask is that someone I know has been asked to provide a test for Drink and drugs just so he can have his kids 1 day more every month to take them to see their grandmother up north! The tests cost about £1k for both - the alcohol one is loads more than the drugs (strangely)

He already sees his kids every other weekend and never needed to take a test then.

If he doesn't take them its likely he will be refused the extra day and they will probably stop his other contact.

If he takes the tests and passes (he will almost certainly) they will probably order him to take some more

There must have been a reason for tests - does your friend have a history of drink/drug abuse? If this is the case, that's a perfectly reasonable request IMHO

I should add that this is the order of the family court system who seem to be a law unto their own and can find you guilty without trial or evidence.

Total nonsense. The family court is not a criminal court, it's part of the civil court system, and doesn't hold trials so no-one is found guilty of anything.

 

[phoenix]

More to this,than meets the eye.Me thinks.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Anyone WITH kids will know you need drink and/or drugs just to get through parenthood.

 

[Gazwag]

Can't have it both ways - social services have been negligent in the recent past as kids have been murdered by their own parents and they didnt stop it, now you feel its wrong that kids are being protected from a parent. (I not in anyway saying there are at rsik as I know nothing about him).

Has he had a history of driving after a few drinks or drugs, maybe the mother is trying to protect her children.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Maybe they want the test because they think you'd have to be pissed or on drugs to take a child up north?

 

[Chicken Runner61]

There must have been a reason for tests - does your friend have a history of drink/drug abuse? If this is the case, that's a perfectly reasonable request IMHO

In the 5 years I have known him I have never seen any signs of it being a problem.



Total nonsense. The family court is not a criminal court, it's part of the civil court system, and doesn't hold trials so no-one is found guilty of anything.

WRONG

Family court has Finding of Fact hearings. Judge hears statements from both sides and will decide who they believe. On that basis you can be found guilty and be found against. There does not have to be any real evidence it can be decided on witness statements which could be made up. Whilst these are not trials in the true sense of the words they are worse as they are held in secret (private) and the appeal process is a farce.

There is no Jury just a single judge who decides. That decision can be used against you in that case and any other hearings - It could be the decision that allows you to have your kids live with or even just see you. It could effect whether you are allowed to work with children or vunerable people. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT to realise how these hearing can effect your life.

Presently the family court system is in a total mess and they are so busy they are using the magistrates court to deal with family cases. Some magistrates are not familiar with all family law aspects so make stupid and bias orders based on the civil and public order cases they normally hear.

This is wrong and people should be made aware as the situation is getting worse.

 

[perseus]

Wicked Messenger

I don't mean the really hard drugs but smoking weed & alcohol.......

Nowadays many people smoke weed and take recreational drugs and even more drink a lot in the evenings and weekends but do you think that should all stop when you have kids?

Did you know that it could be used against you later on in life?


Reason I ask is that someone I know has been asked to provide a test for Drink and drugs just so he can have his kids 1 day more every month to take them to see their grandmother up north! The tests cost about £1k for both - the alcohol one is loads more than the drugs (strangely)

He already sees his kids every other weekend and never needed to take a test then.

If he doesn't take them its likely he will be refused the extra day and they will probably stop his other contact.

If he takes the tests and passes (he will almost certainly) they will probably order him to take some more

I should add that this is the order of the family court system who seem to be a law unto their own and can find you guilty without trial or evidence.

This is called the Wicked Messenger. The opponents are looking for information to use in a smear campaign. They are the Guardians (SJ) of the system, Bullies and Dog Soldiers. When Artisans and Guards fall out.

See

Keirsey's PersonalityZone - Personality and Your Relationships


This is the adversary game. The only people who win are the lawyers. Save your money. Cats on a Hot Tin Roof.

 

[Chicken Runner61]

Can't have it both ways - social services have been negligent in the recent past as kids have been murdered by their own parents and they didnt stop it, now you feel its wrong that kids are being protected from a parent. (I not in anyway saying there are at rsik as I know nothing about him).

Has he had a history of driving after a few drinks or drugs, maybe the mother is trying to protect her children.

No his ex wants to shut him and the rest of his family out of their (her) lives.

Its quite common for this to happen

 

[beorhthelm]

i think actually yes, why not. if you have been done for class A or serious drink problems or repeat drink driving offense, it makes sence if the state is going to interven at all that it goes this far.

however in the example its seems ridiculous and inconsistant. if he can see the kids at the weekend then they should extend the visit for a special occasion. either he's fit to see them now or he is not, an extra day and trip doesnt change anything.

 

[maffew]

...

 

[bhafc_ross]

Surely then she should have it done on her iswell ?

 

[Gwylan]

WRONG

Family court has Finding of Fact hearings.

Exactly. In other word it's not a criminal trial

Judge hears statements from both sides and will decide who they believe. On that basis you can be found guilty and be found against.

No-one is found "guilty" of anything. The main legislation pertaining to cases involving children is the Children Act of 1989. This puts children's welfare above everything. What the court decides is what's best for the children - nothing else.

There does not have to be any real evidence it can be decided on witness statements which could be made up.

That would apply to every single court hearing or criminal case in the land.
The fact that statements are made under oath doesn't actually mean they're always true. People do make up things, that's for courts to decide.

Whilst these are not trials in the true sense of the words they are worse as they are held in secret (private).

Not true as the article makes perfectly clear.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/may/17/familyandrelationships.children

There is no Jury just a single judge who decides. That decision can be used against you in that case and any other hearings - It could be the decision that allows you to have your kids live with or even just see you.

You seem to think that because family court hearing are heard by a single judge, they are somehow flawed. I'd say the opposite: judges are probably better placed than most people to make rational decisions.


I have some experience in family courts: my kids are adopted so we had to go through a long-winded process but what struck me was how dedicated everyone was to making sure the process was fair and seen to be fair. There was also a real sense that everyone involved was perfectly aware of how sensitive some of the issues were and tried to make allowances for that.

My sister is a social worker who's also had to take children into care and prepare court reports. I know full well the situation that Gazwag is talking about where social workers are damned if they do and damned if they don't. It's a thankless job.

 

[footychick]

My ex had to take drug tests but that was because he *was a known user.
My experience of the family courts is rubbish.

 

[sydney]

1000 quid for the test....ahem.....praying on your mates need to be with his kids ,kunce.

 

[Stat Brother]

Can't have it both ways - social services have been negligent in the recent past as kids have been murdered by their own parents and they didnt stop it, now you feel its wrong that kids are being protected from a parent. (I not in anyway saying there are at rsik as I know nothing about him).

Has he had a history of driving after a few drinks or drugs, maybe the mother is trying to protect her children.

That pretty well sums it up.
If he has nothing to fear then what's the problem, if he is concerned about the tests then perhaps they are justified.
If it's the fact he has to pay then that opens up a whole other set of questions.