Scotland - home of monkey tennis

[Simster]

Celtic 0-0 FC Sion
Cracking result against the Swiss minnows.

NK Maribor 2-1 Rangers
Maribor are Slovenian, in case you've never heard of them. And lets not forget, this is Rangers' second bite at the cherry.

Hearts 0-5 Spurs
Still all to play for then.

Couldn't the Jock teams just play a couple of teams from the Isle of Wight if they want a bit of foreign competition?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Scottish football must be at an all time low. The whole thing depresses me.

On googling FC Sion, it seems that their celebrity supporter is none other than Chris De Burgh. I'd rather listen to Lady in Red on repeat for 24 hours than watch any sort of Scottish football.

 

[Mellotron]

Would Scotland eventually lose their Champs League coefficients if they kept performing poorly? Only fair to let another little country have a go.

 

[Easy 10]

Scottish football must be at an all time low. The whole thing depresses me.

Really ?
I've been *snort*-ing and *snigger*-ing so much tonight I don't think my sinuses have ever been so clear.

 

[Simster]

Would Scotland eventually lose their Champs League coefficients if they kept performing poorly? Only fair to let another little country have a go.

They already have. Belgium have overtaken them but the Jocks are clearly seeing fit to show that it was the right decision.

Back to battering the footballing giants of St Mirren and Caley Thistle for the bigoted twats.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Really ?
I've been *snort*-ing and *snigger*-ing so much tonight I don't think my sinuses have ever been so clear.

My laughter subsided a while ago now. Only a small amount of interest left. I will probably start feeling sorry for them at some point.

 

[Colossal Squid]

For years I've questioned why Scottish football gets so much press attention in this country, and as the teams get progressively WORSE every year the amount of coverage they get remains the same.

Who honestly gives the shiniest of shiny shits about these micky mouse teams north of the border? Get it off the BBC, out of the ENGLISH papers and left alone for the sweaties to enjoy by themselves (if indeed any of them even give a shit themselves).

There is absolutely NO NEED to report on their games unless they involve English teams or major European clubs. FC Sion and NK Maribor are neither.

Total waste of time, the lot of them. We don't get this coverage of the League of Wales, so why the pathetic embarrassment that is the SPL?

GET RID

 

[The Modfather]

Why do they let third world countries like Scotland enter european competitions?

 

[Wozza]

I'm gonna work really hard and hope I get PROMOTED to Scotland. :whereisthejesterhat:

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Scottish football must be at an all time low. The whole thing depresses me.

I'm with Easy on this one. What's depressing about it? I think it's HILARIOUS. It all goes towards ensuring that their national team will never again embarrass a major international tournament.

Bad news for manufacturers of comedy ginger wigs and tam-o-shanters, but all good fun for the rest of us.

 

[Easy 10]

My laughter subsided a while ago now. Only a small amount of interest left. I will probably start feeling sorry for them at some point.

Scottish football is tragic isn't it.

Surely Hearts can appeal to UEFA to swerve the 2nd leg. Or maybe Spurs can declare and put the youth team out ? Or perhaps Spurs can "rest" 5 or 6 players (ie just start the game with 5 players). Its all a bit cruel otherwise isn't it.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Scottish football is tragic isn't it.

Surely Hearts can appeal to UEFA to swerve the 2nd leg. Or maybe Spurs can declare and put the youth team out ? Or perhaps Spurs can "rest" 5 or 6 players (ie just start the game with 5 players). Its all a bit cruel otherwise isn't it.

I liked the poster on the BBC text feed who said "I hope Spurs declare early, and give Hearts a chance to bat"

 

[Simster]

I liked the poster on the BBC text feed who said "I hope Spurs declare early, and give Hearts a chance to bat"

It's all a bit like the 80s when Rangers and Celtic and co were playing in some crap short lived Anglo Scottish cup, and even the old firm were getting dicked by crap teams like Bristol Rovers and Barnsley.

 

[Easy 10]

I liked the poster on the BBC text feed who said "I hope Spurs declare early, and give Hearts a chance to bat"

marvellous.

What was quite HILARIO was the old delusional "ahn oor dee" comments from the Hearts fans on 5-Live before the match. On their "dee" they can beat anyone apparently. Not sure what date their dee is, but going by tonights performance, I'd say you're probably looking at some time in 2043. At best. And if its a 'Mondee' then unfortunately, the chances are they won't even be playing that dee anywee.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Thinking ahead for the next REMF game, how about the Albion supporters invite Scotland to be the opponents instead of the traditional Palace?

The Tartan Army would enjoy a trip to the Dripping Pan (it's not unlike the Faroe Islands stadium and there's plenty of pubs in Lewes), Scotland won't have Euro 2012 to distract them, and at least the Albion fans will fancy their chances of a result this time.

 

[Colossal Squid]

From anonymous Hearts fan, via text: "Total cost of the Spurs line-up tonight - just under £60m. Total cost of the Hearts line-up - around £250,000. Give Hearts £60m and Spurs' wage budget, then we'll give you a rematch."

Nobody cares about your noddy club you jocko clown. Throw £60m at Burgess Hill Town and they'd give Spurs a game, but it doesn't mean anyone would want to see it

 

[Simster]

Nobody cares about your noddy club you jocko clown. Throw £60m at Burgess Hill Town and they'd give Spurs a game, but it doesn't mean anyone would want to see it

How much money have Rangers spent to secure defeat at perennial European over achievers, Malmo, and then again at the home of these SLOVENIAN GIANTS I can't even pronounce?

No wonder Scottish teams play each other 4 times - they're the only opposition sufficiently WANK to give each other a game.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I quite like the national team and the Tartan Army. All those boyos out for a gid tame. Canny patter and joyous support.

 

[Colossal Squid]

No wonder Scottish teams play each other 4 times - they're the only opposition sufficiently WANK to give each other a game.

And it's still five times more than anyone wants to see them play

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Nobody cares about your noddy club you jocko clown. Throw £60m at Burgess Hill Town and they'd give Spurs a game, but it doesn't mean anyone would want to see it

Let's be honest, you could give any Scottish club sixty million quid, but the best players in the world still won't touch the Monkey Tennis League with a bargepole.

Half a million pounds a week is not going to convince Lionel Messi that his future lies in playing St Johnstone four times a season.