Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Roll up for the Donkey Derby
- Thread starter Yorkie
- Start date
Lord Bracknell
On fire
Tell them to buy the record!
If they won't, they can make do with this:-
N-N-N-NINE NIL (The Paul Hardcastle Remix!)
Tuesday September 8th 1989 began like any other day in the footballing calendar, with newly-discovered Team of the 80s, Crystal Palace, travelling to Anfield to test their Colditz-like defensive qualities and mesmerising attacking skills against the sacrificial lemmings of Liverpool. Now football is a funny game, as the utterly retarded cliche goes, and on this particular evening it proved to be a very funny game indeed, in fact a positively hilarious, side-splittingly humourous one, even more mirth-inducing than David Beckham trying to define existentialism or Bill Archer attempting coitus with a paper-shredding machine. For while Palace's much-feared rivals Brighton and Hove Albion were thrashing Wolverhampton Wanderers 4-2, at Anfield the final score was Liverpool 9, Crystal Palace 0. Liverpool 9, Crystal Palace 0. N-n-n-nine nil, nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil, nine nil. And following those fateful n-n-n-ninety minutes on that hilarious Tuesday night the hapless halibuts from Selhurst Park were subjected to fierce and merciless ridicule from the rest of the football world and many of them are still living out their experiences to this day. Even now the South London branch of the Samaritans receive mysterious phone calls where the only audible sounds are donkey-like voices braying bewilderedly 'Nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil. Ee-aw! Nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil. Ee-aw! And when the Palace players got home, obviously in need of moral support and counselling following their torrid n-n-n-nine nil experience, none of them received a hero's welcome. None of them. None of them received a hero's welcome. N-n-n-none of them. The long term effects of such an unbelievable n-n-n-nine nil annihilation are hard to predict, but it seems likely that many of the Crystal Palace squad may have been be so demoralised that they may have been forced to leave professional football and sign on. S-s-s-sign on. Sign on. S-s-s-sign on. S-s-s-sign on, sign on. S-s-s-sign on, sign on. A worse fate even than this may well have befallen the Palace goalkeeper Perry Suckling, a man who, rather like the Queen Mother, wears gloves for no apparent reason, for his intense feelings of humiliation may well have led him to emigrate, and sign on in Vietnam. V-v-v-Vietnam. S-s-s-sign on. V-v-v-Vietnam. S-s-s-sign on...........(repeat ad nauseam)
If they won't, they can make do with this:-
N-N-N-NINE NIL (The Paul Hardcastle Remix!)
Tuesday September 8th 1989 began like any other day in the footballing calendar, with newly-discovered Team of the 80s, Crystal Palace, travelling to Anfield to test their Colditz-like defensive qualities and mesmerising attacking skills against the sacrificial lemmings of Liverpool. Now football is a funny game, as the utterly retarded cliche goes, and on this particular evening it proved to be a very funny game indeed, in fact a positively hilarious, side-splittingly humourous one, even more mirth-inducing than David Beckham trying to define existentialism or Bill Archer attempting coitus with a paper-shredding machine. For while Palace's much-feared rivals Brighton and Hove Albion were thrashing Wolverhampton Wanderers 4-2, at Anfield the final score was Liverpool 9, Crystal Palace 0. Liverpool 9, Crystal Palace 0. N-n-n-nine nil, nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil, nine nil. And following those fateful n-n-n-ninety minutes on that hilarious Tuesday night the hapless halibuts from Selhurst Park were subjected to fierce and merciless ridicule from the rest of the football world and many of them are still living out their experiences to this day. Even now the South London branch of the Samaritans receive mysterious phone calls where the only audible sounds are donkey-like voices braying bewilderedly 'Nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil. Ee-aw! Nine nil. N-n-n-nine nil. Ee-aw! And when the Palace players got home, obviously in need of moral support and counselling following their torrid n-n-n-nine nil experience, none of them received a hero's welcome. None of them. None of them received a hero's welcome. N-n-n-none of them. The long term effects of such an unbelievable n-n-n-nine nil annihilation are hard to predict, but it seems likely that many of the Crystal Palace squad may have been be so demoralised that they may have been forced to leave professional football and sign on. S-s-s-sign on. Sign on. S-s-s-sign on. S-s-s-sign on, sign on. S-s-s-sign on, sign on. A worse fate even than this may well have befallen the Palace goalkeeper Perry Suckling, a man who, rather like the Queen Mother, wears gloves for no apparent reason, for his intense feelings of humiliation may well have led him to emigrate, and sign on in Vietnam. V-v-v-Vietnam. S-s-s-sign on. V-v-v-Vietnam. S-s-s-sign on...........(repeat ad nauseam)
great song
attila
1997 Club
Here you Go Yorkie, straight from the donkey's mouth! Ee-aw!
When Palace somehow managed to get to the FA Cup Final in 1990 I thought I would do them the honour of writing their Cup Final song!
(Chorus to the tune of ‘Wemberley, Wemberley’ of course!)
ROLL UP FOR THE DONKEY DERBY
Now Wembley’s seen some glory days beneath the old twin towers
From England 1966 to Nelson’s* finest hour
The hallowed turf has also seen some awful tragedy
when Gordon missed in extra time in 1983....
Now pigs could fly all over the place, bad refs all get a ban
and every Falmer NIMBY become a Seagulls fan
But we who love our football never thought we’d see the day
The smeggy sons of Selhurst walking down the Wembley Way!
Chorus:
Ee-aw! Ee-aw! The Palace got to Wembley, they’ve
never been there before!
Ee-aw! Ee-aw! Roll up for the donkey derby, there’s
room for plenty more......!
Now they beat the mighty Portsmouth with a fluke last minute goal
‘Gainst the awesome power of Rochdale they played the starring role
The Grecian gods of Huddersfield were calmly swept aside
And the way they dealt with Cambridge filled all Selhurst Park with pride...
And then they met a proper team - and confidence was thin
‘Cos the last time they played Liverpool, they didn’t exactly win (9-0, 9-0!)
But the Anfield defence deserve ten years on the dole
for letting in that quadruped to score the winning goal...
There’s old Gary O’Reilly - what’s he doing here?
He should be wandering up and down the beach by Blackpool Pier!
Pemberton and Pardew - one role for them, I’d say
And that’s the leading animal in a school nativity play...
And as for Man United, they hardly raised the tone
with Gary ‘Crystal’ Pallister, a donkey of their own
The final was a comedy, the replay was a bore
and the crowd were shouting ‘Eagles’ when it should have been ‘Ee-aw!’
Chorus
*Nelson Mandela of course
When Palace somehow managed to get to the FA Cup Final in 1990 I thought I would do them the honour of writing their Cup Final song!
(Chorus to the tune of ‘Wemberley, Wemberley’ of course!)
ROLL UP FOR THE DONKEY DERBY
Now Wembley’s seen some glory days beneath the old twin towers
From England 1966 to Nelson’s* finest hour
The hallowed turf has also seen some awful tragedy
when Gordon missed in extra time in 1983....
Now pigs could fly all over the place, bad refs all get a ban
and every Falmer NIMBY become a Seagulls fan
But we who love our football never thought we’d see the day
The smeggy sons of Selhurst walking down the Wembley Way!
Chorus:
Ee-aw! Ee-aw! The Palace got to Wembley, they’ve
never been there before!
Ee-aw! Ee-aw! Roll up for the donkey derby, there’s
room for plenty more......!
Now they beat the mighty Portsmouth with a fluke last minute goal
‘Gainst the awesome power of Rochdale they played the starring role
The Grecian gods of Huddersfield were calmly swept aside
And the way they dealt with Cambridge filled all Selhurst Park with pride...
And then they met a proper team - and confidence was thin
‘Cos the last time they played Liverpool, they didn’t exactly win (9-0, 9-0!)
But the Anfield defence deserve ten years on the dole
for letting in that quadruped to score the winning goal...
There’s old Gary O’Reilly - what’s he doing here?
He should be wandering up and down the beach by Blackpool Pier!
Pemberton and Pardew - one role for them, I’d say
And that’s the leading animal in a school nativity play...
And as for Man United, they hardly raised the tone
with Gary ‘Crystal’ Pallister, a donkey of their own
The final was a comedy, the replay was a bore
and the crowd were shouting ‘Eagles’ when it should have been ‘Ee-aw!’
Chorus
*Nelson Mandela of course
Safeway
M0DERAT0R
Cracking song. Should have made it a double A-side. 
John Boy
Paul McShane
Now Wemblys seen some glory days beneath the old twin towers,
From England 1966 to Nelson's finest hour.
The hallowed turf has also seen some awful tradergy,
When Gordon missed in extra time in 1983!
Now pigs will fly all over the place,
Bad refs will get a ban,
And every Falmer NIMBY becomes an Albion fan!
But those who love our football never thought we would see the day-
The smeggy sons of Selhurst walking down Wembly Way!
Chorus
Eeore, eeore, the Palace got to Wembly they've never been their before,
Eeore, eeore, roll up for the Donkey Derby there's room for plenty more
They beat the mighty Portsmouth with a fluke last minute goal,
Against the powerhouse of Rochdale they played the starring role,
The grecian gods of Huddersfield were calmly swept a side,
And the way they dealt with Cambridge filled Selhurst Park with pride!
Then they met a proper team and confidence was thin,
Cos the last time they played Liverpool, they didn't exactly win!
(9-0 9-0)
The Anfield defence deserved 10 years on the dole,
for letting in that last minute goal
Chorus
Garry O'Reilly- whats he doing here?
He should be wandering up and down the beach by Blackpool Pier
Hefferton (?) and Pardew, what more can I say?
Apart from thats the leading animal in the school nativity play!
As for Man United, they hardly raised a tone,
Treating Crystal Palace like a donkey of their own
The final was a comedy, the replay was a bore,
The crowd were shouthing Eagles, but it should of been Eeore!
Chorus
Chorus
From England 1966 to Nelson's finest hour.
The hallowed turf has also seen some awful tradergy,
When Gordon missed in extra time in 1983!
Now pigs will fly all over the place,
Bad refs will get a ban,
And every Falmer NIMBY becomes an Albion fan!
But those who love our football never thought we would see the day-
The smeggy sons of Selhurst walking down Wembly Way!
Chorus
Eeore, eeore, the Palace got to Wembly they've never been their before,
Eeore, eeore, roll up for the Donkey Derby there's room for plenty more
They beat the mighty Portsmouth with a fluke last minute goal,
Against the powerhouse of Rochdale they played the starring role,
The grecian gods of Huddersfield were calmly swept a side,
And the way they dealt with Cambridge filled Selhurst Park with pride!
Then they met a proper team and confidence was thin,
Cos the last time they played Liverpool, they didn't exactly win!
(9-0 9-0)
The Anfield defence deserved 10 years on the dole,
for letting in that last minute goal
Chorus
Garry O'Reilly- whats he doing here?
He should be wandering up and down the beach by Blackpool Pier
Hefferton (?) and Pardew, what more can I say?
Apart from thats the leading animal in the school nativity play!
As for Man United, they hardly raised a tone,
Treating Crystal Palace like a donkey of their own
The final was a comedy, the replay was a bore,
The crowd were shouthing Eagles, but it should of been Eeore!
Chorus
Chorus
John Boy
Paul McShane
I was nearly right!
Braders
Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
great track
Lush
Mods' Pet
Let's post it on the Millwall and Charlton boards - might get some of them to buy it....
Robot Chicken
Seriously?
HAMPSHIRE DAVE
New member
Great song.
Me and Brighton mate at work fell about laughing when we first
played the record.
Me and Brighton mate at work fell about laughing when we first
played the record.
Lush
Mods' Pet
Done Millwall Rivals and will happily do any other Millwall or Charlton if links posted and boards reasonably well used
- Thread starter
- #17
http://www.cafc-fans.co.uk/yoursay/viewforum.php?f=1&sid=3bcdc8af34204f40cb02631badb773bc
But this advice from a Charlton fan
'It's pretty new and the layout is awful.
Best bet is to go to the Rivals site and look at the links. There's about half a dozen Charlton sites, but to be honest, they're all shite'
But this advice from a Charlton fan
'It's pretty new and the layout is awful.
Best bet is to go to the Rivals site and look at the links. There's about half a dozen Charlton sites, but to be honest, they're all shite'
Lush
Mods' Pet
Ok I'll do Charlton Rivals and call it a day...
Thanks.
Thanks.
Lush
Mods' Pet
First response on Millwall Rivals...
"If that's on the disc I'll have it."
"If that's on the disc I'll have it."
Farehamseagull
Solly March Fan Club
Just introduced my boys to this! Again, well played Attila
