Poo paper

[Meade's Ball]

I went to a local shop about 20 minutes ago and saw a 4-pack of Andrex Quilts on offer for £1.99. I bought it and now can't wait to have a nice poo. I am hoping for a big and sloppy one to really test this roll's mettle and flushability.
I'll let you know what happens.

 

[philsussex]

Is it the one with added Aloe Vera?

 

[philsussex]

Or cocoa butter?

 

[Meade's Ball]

I think it's "plain". I'll crack it open and give it a sniff now.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Yeah it's "plain". Scentless. I think i am happiest with that. Why would i want something to smell nice before i cake it in cack?

 

[The Grockle]

I think it's a f***ing waste to wipe your arse with something that looks like it's been woven from silk by a third world child. I'd rather wipe my arse with that french stuff that feels like greseproof paper.

 

[philsussex]

For the ultimate indulgent anal wipeage experience you really need to try the aloe vera infused shit sheets

 

[severnside gull]

personally I am an advocate of cocoa butter

 

[philsussex]

The question is, will you waste a sheet of this high quality product to dab dry excess willy wee drips?

 

[Meade's Ball]

I think it's a f***ing waste to wipe your arse with something that looks like it's been woven from silk by a third world child. I'd rather wipe my arse with that french stuff that feels like greseproof paper.

You on about that smearing stuff you find in school toilets (if you are a child and sometimes go in there to plop)?

I reckon my toilet paper was made by a machine without any direct slave-trade used for it.
I just unstuck the first sheet from its gluey placement. It had that stabbing a coffee jar foil feel to it. Lovely. I'm on tenterhooks now. I might be too tense to go for days and end up letting out a firm and dense one that requires nothing more than one wipe. That'd be something of a poke in the eye.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

You mean you don't use the curtains?

 

[Fef]

My wife reckons that those plastic lavatory brushes aren't much cop. She's gone back to using paper, but I'm still persevering.

 

[Titanic]

You on about that smearing stuff you find in school toilets (if you are a child and sometimes go in there to plop)?

I reckon my toilet paper was made by a machine without any direct slave-trade used for it.
I just unstuck the first sheet from its gluey placement. It had that stabbing a coffee jar foil feel to it. Lovely. I'm on tenterhooks now. I might be too tense to go for days and end up letting out a firm and dense one that requires nothing more than one wipe. That'd be something of a poke in the eye.

If you really want to test it's wipeability... nip one off when it's on the way out... that'll give it a real test.

BTW, I hope it's not 'quilted'.

 

[Titanic]

BTW, I hope it's not 'quilted'.

Oh dear... I've just re-read your original post.

Don't get your hopes up.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

My wife reckons that those plastic lavatory brushes aren't much cop. She's gone back to using paper, but I'm still persevering.

if that's her pins in the photos it looks like she could use a brillo pad mate...

 

[The Grockle]

You on about that smearing stuff you find in school toilets (if you are a child and sometimes go in there to plop)?

I reckon my toilet paper was made by a machine without any direct slave-trade used for it.
I just unstuck the first sheet from its gluey placement. It had that stabbing a coffee jar foil feel to it. Lovely. I'm on tenterhooks now. I might be too tense to go for days and end up letting out a firm and dense one that requires nothing more than one wipe. That'd be something of a poke in the eye.

Yeah that's the stuff, although (and this may come as a shock) I left school 11 years ago, at the correct time.

Don't get me wrong I have been to houses that have this quilted stuff and it's pretty special but I find myself using half the normal sheets, not because of it's incredable absorbing qualities but because it's far too fancy for wiping your arse with, just feels like a waste.

 

[Easy 10]

A premature wipe will really test its mettal.
Sometimes, in my post-excretia haste, I begin wiping before all the residue CLAG has dropped from my anal fissure, which results in an excessive brown streak being deposited on that first crucial wipe. This common error inevitably results in a genuine workout for the tissue of choice, and can, on hot days, require an addition mid-clearout flush. And perhaps even a re-visit for an extra wipe half an hour later if things start feeling "greasy".

I look forward to your report.