Office hates

[Goring Gull]

Mine has got to be and has just happened, hence this thread - the bugger in the office who shoves their mobile under your nose with a supposedly "hilarious text message" You read it thinking "so when does this get funny" with the culprit in stitches as you read it only to politley grin and feign a laugh thinking "please fcuk off" as they stand there wondering why you are not rolling on the floor.

Don't get me wrong sometimes they are mildly amusing but not exactly laugh out loud and being made to feel your some sort of retard for not howling like a hyena..... Can do with out it.

And then you have to watch as they everyone and i mean everyone in the office - only satisfaction is watching another victim squirming like you have had to.

 

[Gwylan]

Oh, I thought this was an anti-Microsoft thread.

Sod it.

 

[Titanic]

Did you hear the one about it being in the papers that Rooney was getting a Cortizone Injection... and David Beckham whinging to Sven... If Wayne's getting a new car, I want one!

 

[Lammy]

Mine has got to be and has just happened, hence this thread - the bugger in the office who shoves their mobile under your nose with a supposedly "hilarious text message" You read it thinking "so when does this get funny" with the culprit in stitches as you read it only to politley grin and feign a laugh thinking "please fcuk off" as they stand there wondering why you are not rolling on the floor.

Don't get me wrong sometimes they are mildly amusing but not exactly laugh out loud and being made to feel your some sort of retard for not howling like a hyena..... Can do with out it.

And then you have to watch as they everyone and i mean everyone in the office - only satisfaction is watching another victim squirming like you have had to.

you can't leave it like that! what was it then?

 

[REDLAND]

Did you hear the one about it being in the papers that Rooney was getting a Cortizone Injection... and David Beckham whinging to Sven... If Wayne's getting a new car, I want one!

funny

 

[Publius Ovidius]

cofee machines

whoever invented coffee machines that dispense weak dishwater as an excuse for cappuchino wants shooting after being tortured by having red hit pokers stuffed up his bum

The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells

 

[tedebear]

We have a lady of asian background who makes hawking and snorting noises all day with her nose and throat....slurp, snoog, plurg etc. ITS f***ing DISGUSTING and I sit about 10 metres away and can still hear it!!

Glad to be on leave actually!!

 

[Lammy]

People who can't think in their head!

 

[bhaexpress]

We have a lady of asian background who makes hawking and snorting noises all day with her nose and throat....slurp, snoog, plurg etc. ITS f***ing DISGUSTING and I sit about 10 metres away and can still hear it!!

Glad to be on leave actually!!

A few years ago I was working in Liverpool (The Liver Building no less) and I worked with one particular Asian 'gentleman' who has a permanently snotty now, all year round ! He would blow his nose eventually the once his handkerchief was sodden he would then proceed to put them over the radiator nearest to where he was sitting to dry. I might add he had no concept of soap either, he was not very popular.

 

[Easy 10]

The bloke who, when making me a cup of tea, picks my mug up by the rim where I have to put my mouth. Bet he doesn't wash his hands after the toilet, so I am effectively sucking his cock every time I drink a tea he's made.

 

[zefarelly]

office hates . . . . I just hate offices

I prefer workshops

 

[Rangdo]

People who send those "Funny" emails to loads of people thinking that they are original when in actual fact it is the 245th time you have read it.

 

[Gazwag]

People who send those "Funny" emails to loads of people thinking that they are original when in actual fact it is the 245th time you have read it.

And they then post it on NSC, with all the

>
>
>
>
>
>

bits still attached and wonder why there is a rush to post fix.......

 

[Goring Gull]

People who send those "Funny" emails to loads of people thinking that they are original when in actual fact it is the 245th time you have read it.

Very similar to my MR text - he has probably also shown you it once or twice before but because it was so funny has forgotten.

 

[readingstockport]

People who forward those crappy urban myth and hoax virus mails and hoax picture emails without doing any basic research to find out if they are true.

 

[perth seagull]

The managers where I work are a big office hate of mine. Aside from the fact that there are too many of them and not enough normal staff to do some real work, they treat you like school children. They walk around pretending to be doing something useful, but they always make a quick glance in the direction of staff to check up on us. I caught this ugly bitch of a manager walking by yesterday. While I was sitting at my desk, I kept looking at her waiting for her to glance her beady eyes masked by her chubby face to turn her fat head in my direction as she pretended to innocently walk by and lo and behold she did. Then she quickly turned away as if it was nothing. But we can all tell that "big brother" (or "big muthafucking ugly sister" in this case) is always watching, and I find being treated like a child hurts work place morale.

 

[pasty]

People with no concept of personal space. There's a guy in the office who I'm currently doing quite a lot of work for, and every time he comes to see me, he stands about 2 inches from my nose. On top of this, he has no perception of when the conversation is over. It literally takes me totally ignoring him and getting on with something else for him to go back to his own desk.

Oh, and people who use email or phone when sitting 2 desks away from you.

 

[Fran Hagarty]

Paperless offices and air-conditioning. How frustrating it is when the weather is lovely outside - suitable for summer clothes but it's so cold in the office that you have to dress up as if it were winter.

These paperless offices that, unfortunately, seem to be the trend are OK, I suppose, when the computers are working but when the system crashes......!

I guess I'm of the old school but give me the old paper files any day!

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Mine has got to be and has just happened, hence this thread - the bugger in the office who shoves their mobile under your nose with a supposedly "hilarious text message" You read it thinking "so when does this get funny" with the culprit in stitches as you read it only to politley grin and feign a laugh thinking "please fcuk off" as they stand there wondering why you are not rolling on the floor.

Don't get me wrong sometimes they are mildly amusing but not exactly laugh out loud and being made to feel your some sort of retard for not howling like a hyena..... Can do with out it.

And then you have to watch as they everyone and i mean everyone in the office - only satisfaction is watching another victim squirming like you have had to.

Couldn't agree more, and many of the crap ones I get subjected to usually have some racist overtone. I think my lowest point was having to watch a two minute long video of the 'Rainbow' cast singing rude songs, which had been bigged up so much before the phone was handed to me that I couldn't get away with placing the phone on the floor and stamping on it, and instead had to sit there grinning inanely for two minutes (note to self - get some assertiveness training).

 

[Rangdo]

These paperless offices that, unfortunately, seem to be the trend are OK, I suppose, when the computers are working but when the system crashes......!

But thats one of the best things about a paperless office isn't it?