Joke that made me laugh

[DC Rules]

I received this joke today...it made me laugh!



A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic
condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he
announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly.

"Why don't you wear Silver," answers his wife. "it would be nice
if you came second for a change!"

 

[Flavor Flav]

not bad

 

[Andrew]

'alf decent

 

[Don Quixote]

'salright

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

I heard that the makers of Pedigree Chum had gone bust. They are sending in the retrievers tomorrow.

 

[Drizzlecake]

I heard that the makers of Pedigree Chum had gone bust. They are sending in the retrievers tomorrow.

Now that IS funny!!!!

 

[smelly]

Went for my annual health check the other day.

Nurse said "I'm sorry Sir you are going to have to stop wanking"

"Why's that" I asked.


"Because I'm trying to give you your annual health check"

 

[strings]

Went for my annual health check the other day.

Nurse said "I'm sorry Sir you are going to have to stop wanking"

"Why's that" I asked.


"Because I'm trying to give you your annual health check"

 

[Janbha]

Went for my annual health check the other day.

Nurse said "I'm sorry Sir you are going to have to stop wanking"

"Why's that" I asked.


"Because I'm trying to give you your annual health check"

Now that is funny

 

[Nottseagull]

Indeed it is - it puts the first two jokes in their place!

 

[Jahooli]

An old man walks into an estate agency and says to a female agent,
"I want to sell my bleedin' house!"

To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon,
sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

" Bleedin' 'ell will you listen. I said I want to sell my f**king house!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of
language in this office."

So the agent goes over to the head sales agent to tell him about her situation.
They both return and the head agent asks the old man, "What seems to
be the problem here?"

"There's no f**king problem," the man says, "I want to sell my f**king two
million pound home."

"I see," says the manager, "and this f**king bitch is giving you a hard time?"

 

[Nottseagull]

That's almost as good!

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

Took my girlfriend to my local last night.


After a few drinks, she got all stroppy and said, "This place again! You never take me anywhere new!"


So when I woke up this morning I decided to heed her words, and take her somewhere new.


Apparently, 'up the arse' wasn't quite what she had in mind...

 

[Paxton Dazo]

Went for my annual health check the other day.

Nurse said "I'm sorry Sir you are going to have to stop wanking"

"Why's that" I asked.


"Because I'm trying to give you your annual health check"

 

[DC Rules]

Went for my annual health check the other day.

Nurse said "I'm sorry Sir you are going to have to stop wanking"

"Why's that" I asked.


"Because I'm trying to give you your annual health check"

I don't reckon that is a joke...I think it's a true event in the life of Smelly!

 

[smelly]

Just phoned that rape advice line.................apparently its only for victims.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

In Thailand, Thai people take great offence if you wear a piece of clothing on the wrong area of the body.

Unfortunately, Gary Glitter put a Thai on his cock!

 

[Braders]

Just phoned that rape advice line.................apparently its only for victims.

we have a winner .. heard it loads of times but still makes me chuckle in a wrong way

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

My missus rang the local fitness gym, she said:
"I'd like to learn to do the splits."
The lady on the phone asked:
"How flexible are you?"
To which her reply was:
"I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays"

** coat

 

[Taybha]

Now that is funny

madam im shocked how come you laugh at a wanking joke but when you catch me doing it im a lowlife dirty git?