IS it BAD for you to EAT dog food ?

[Ernest]

I WAS in the CLIFTONVILLE yesterday afternoon and TREATED myself to STAKE and kidney pud, CHIPS, peas and GRAVY. Halfway through I got the URGE so nipped off for a WEE WEE and whilst I did the BUSINESS my FRIEND Terry scooped the MEAT out of the PUD and REPLACED it with PEDIGREE Chum.

I returned FROM my wee wee and WOLFED the rest of the DINNER down and DIDN'T realise UNTIL Terry told me what HE had done. He said IT was REVENGE for last WEEK when I wanked OVER his BURGER in the POTS and TELEGRAPH.

I'm now WORRIED it may have been HARMFUL to eat DOG food. I've been OK since, I did WAKE up and START barking when the WIND blew next doors BIN lid off in the night and I've noticed myself COCKING my leg when I go for a piss but APART from that I think I'm NORMAL. Or should I go to the VETS for a ONCEOVER to be SURE ?

 

[Hugo Rune]

You'll be fine, you just need to repeat your burger trick but this time EAT IT YOURSELF!

 

[KZNSeagull]

Can you now LICK your own KNACKERS?

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Go to the vets if you start feeling a little RUFF.

 

[seagullondon]

I am AFRAID to tell you ERNEST that DOGS are not allowed in DICKS bar so I WOULD recommend a TRIP to the VETS.

 

[Ernest]

BE back in a WHILE it's TIME for my WALKIES

 

[El Sid]

Or should I go to the VETS for a ONCEOVER to be SURE ?

Probably best to get yourself WORMED

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Everyone will want to be your PAL.

 

[KZNSeagull]

The ONLY side effect I can think of, is that the NEXT time you see a TRAMP at the AMEX, you may have an uncontrollable URGE to run over to him and SNIFF his CROTCH.

 

[screamadelica]

Everyone will want to be your PAL.

You need to book yourself in for castration to stop you from chasing cats

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Hopefully The Albion will now WIN A LOT

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

wHERES THE albion CONNECTION you fugging prick ERNEST. Doesn't WORK without an ALBION/KNIGHT gag in there I'm afraid.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

HAVE you noticed if THE coat you nicked has GOT shinier since?

 

[papajaff]

Oh f***, that did make me laugh. Bad boy!

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

HAVE you noticed if THE coat you nicked has GOT shinier since?

I ain't laughing Never mind tho, I wish you well at Crufts this year, specially when the judges inspect your ARS

 

[banjo]

Have you started chasing all the local cats ?

 

[skipper734]

He's always been a bit of a Dog, hence his love of Sausages.

 

[Soulman]

A guy from the RSPCA knocked on my door this morning.

He said, "We've had a complaint that you've been overfeeding your cat. Apparently it weighs the best part of 4 stone."

I said, "It's not a cat."

"Oh" he replied, "There must be a mistake, is it a dog?"

I said, "No, it's a hamster."

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I had to go and see a psychiatrist once, kept thinking I was a dog.

'OK' he said 'get up on the couch'.

'I'm not allowed on the couch'

 

[Bladders]

I'd worry if you start humping Dick Tights leg.