IKEA's online assistant - hours (okay, minutes) of fun

[Wozza]

http://www.ikea.co.uk/ (bottom-left link)

Me: I like your eyes

Anna: Good. Thank you for your continued attention.


Me: What are you doing later?

Anna: I'm very sorry, but I can't really talk about things like that at this time.


Me: Do you support Crystal Palace?

Anna: Here you will find the Kitchen Utensils/Accessories Subcategory. [Er....?]


Me: I like your tits

Anna: Thank you. Your comment has been noted. My knowledge will improve thanks to this conversation. Can I help you find out more about IKEA products or services?


Me: How much do you earn?

Anna: I'm a computer program, so I don't get paid anything.


Me: I would like to take you from behind

Anna: How nice. I must have been a great help to make you feel like that. Now, ask me a question about IKEA.


Me: Can I **** you ***? [hey, family show here]

Anna: You're very polite to ask, but I don’t think this is something I can help you with.


Me: 42

Anna: That might be true, but I'm not here to talk about life, the universe and everything. Let's talk about IKEA instead.


Me: Where is Beagle 2?

Anna: I can't really say, to be honest. Maybe you should consult a map.

 

[Gwylan]

You bored, Wozza?

It's good fun asking Jeeves dumb questions too

 

[El Presidente]

Me: Do you swallow?

Anna: I don't have a favourite food. I'm an IKEA Online Assistant, here to help customers with queries about our products and services.

 

[MRRF 10]

Me: are you a lesbian?
Answer: I'm afraid I'm not willing to discuss this subject in any way.

Me: do you pick your nose?
Answer: Thanks for asking, but I'm only here to answer questions about IKEA so I don't have any outside interests.

 

[Hilton]

Me: Suck my ****
Anna: Here you will find the activity toys catagory

 

[GUNTER]

Me: Do you wear a bra

Anna: I have an outfit that my creators made for me, but because I'm an IKEA Online Assistant, I don't wear real clothes.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Q: Will you lick my plums?

A: To which IKEA store are you referring to when asking about the restaurant?

 

[MRRF 10]

Me: do you suck your own nipples?
answer: I am not designed to understand or feel insults, although my knowledge will surely improve after this conversation. What would you like to know about IKEA?

 

[GUNTER]

Me: Do you shit?

Anna: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

 

[Soton Seagull]

Me - Do you have a nice body?

Anna - All of IKEA's products are made to the highest standards, including myself.

 

[Citrus]

Me: Do you have a third nipple?

Anna: If I was a real person I'm sure I would have that body part, but I'm simply an IKEA Online Assistant, here to help you with your questions about our company.

Nice.

 

[Citrus]

Me: I like your yellow t-shirt.

Anna: Art really isn't something I can talk about. Please ask me something about IKEA instead.

 

[Citrus]

Me: When was the last time you had a date?

Anna: I'm sorry, but I don't know the answer to that just yet.



Quality site!

 

[Meade's Ball]

Me: I have a dick like a Dalek. Exsperminate!

Anna: Do you think that makes you unique? Please ask me something about IKEA instead.

 

[Gary Nelson]

Me: Would you say Bill Archer is a wanker?
Her: I cannot answer that.

Me: Would you build a bonfire and put Archer in the middle?
Her: Unfortunately, unless it's relevant to IKEA in some way, I can't get involved.

 

[Citrus]

Me: Are you a Brighton hoolie?

Anna: Hello can I help you?

 

[Thimble Keegan]

Me: Eugh...You are ginger.

Anna: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me.

That is correct and you are a ginger!!!

Albion & England forever.

Thimble Keegan
Worthing BHA

 

[Braders]

me- do you know gay freddie ljunberg
anna-I don't really want to talk about personal issues like marriage. If you could talk to me about IKEA that would be much better.

something you not telling us fatboy?

 

[the right footed denilson]

Me: I have a dick like a Dalek. Exsperminate!

Anna: Do you think that makes you unique? Please ask me something about IKEA instead.

genius!!!!!!

 

[Braders]

me-wheres your caravan
anna-I can't really say, to be honest. Maybe you should consult a map.