How would you be described ......

[Dick Knights Mumm]

.............. walking to the office from the car park I fell into conversation with this gorgeous girl - mid-thirties, slim, well dressed, nice hair. As I went into our office I had a quick fantasy that she might fancy me - when it occurred to me how she would tell her work colleagues who she had been talking to.

Not "you know the tall handsome one with the come-to bed eyes" ............. more like "the old bald chubby one" (to paraphrase Brovian).

How would an attractive stranger describe you ?

 

[Bakesy]

FILF

 

[Easy 10]

"That slightly mysterious chap with the twinkle in his eye and the slightly curious but oddly alluring swagger, as though a small weasel or stoat is attempting to escape from his trousers..."

 

[Goodfella]

DILF

Dad I'd Like To F***

 

[Meade's Ball]

"He's got those big, lonely eyes on an unoccupied mahusive vegetable face. The sort of overgrown, mis-shapen potato you feel sorry for on That's Life, knowing it'll be tormented by the other freaks. But there's something alluring about that anonymous face's sorry, the silent enigma, the question mark eyebrows. Probably in his hands or his unthreatening gaze. I'd bed him, but prefer to keeps the lights off and have his groan drowned out by the limp song of Vandross or Bon Jovi. As you know, i am one f***ing ugly binter, so i might as well give him a try. Two desperate souls sometimes meet and match."

 

[ali jenkins]

"You know that ugly **** from the other office? Well i was chatting to his georgus mate today..."

 

[Frutos]

"You know that ugly **** from the other office? Well i was chatting to his georgus mate today..."

Are you the 'ugly ****' or the 'gorgeous mate' in that one?



EDIT - Since when can we say **** without censorship again?

 

[Basil Fawlty]

DILF

Dad I'd Like To F***

 

[Gritt23]

"That ginger fella."

Despite the adonis physique, and the wedding tackle that a stallion would be proud of, people can rarely see past the hair.

 

[ali jenkins]

Are you the 'ugly ****' or the 'gorgeous mate' in that one?



EDIT - Since when can we say **** without censorship again?

I'll let you decide that one steve, but as a clue, it aint the first one!



****!

 

[Frutos]

I'll let you decide that one steve, but as a clue, it aint the first one!

 

[The Wookiee]

That moody miserable **** who never smiles but has gorgeous eyes, lovely body and a nice cock !!

 

[Lander]

If it is where I work now, it would be "The English Kid"

 

[League1Champions]

"Leeds scum"

 

[The Large One]

'That bloke with the Gresham Blake shirt who can offer you a discount on the boyfriend-that-you-don't-really-like's football shirt.'

Oh, wake up, Al you soppy fool.

 

[smudge]

A straight slimmer version of DALE f***ing WINTON!

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

A youthful, slightly more charming version of that bloke on MOTD2, Working Lunch and the Apprentice: You're fired, who wears different colours shirts each week. A dreamboat....

 

[Lord Bracknell]

"that rich bastard who owns the airline"

 

[coventrygull]

I am described up here as that "cockney **** whose a bit of a perv" and thats just from the Mrs

 

[Barnet Seagull]

A taller fatter quiz show panelist (with better hair)