How to get your ex girlfreind back?

[Napper]

Worst place for advice is here.

Take another bird to Milan and shag the arse off it all weekend

 

[Biscuit]

Tell her you want to take her to Milan as your girlfriend, not as a friend. If she doesn't agree, cancel it or change the name on her ticket for a mate.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Keep away - absence makes the heart grow fonder and maybe she'll realise what she's missed. Don't let her feel she has any kind of emotional power over you.

 

[Wilko]

Oh come now, what is wrong with you lot, surely we have all had this before! If a woman says 'She does not want to be with you' then most of the time this does not mean that at all. IT IS A TEST! It is a test to see how you will react, to see if you will open up to her. If she really did not want to be with you then why would she say she misses you and wants to go to Milan with you.

RULE 1: Do not take what a woman says on face value:

Does 'fine' mean 'fine'?
Does 'I don't normally do this on a first date' mean that?
Does 'nothing' mean nothing when you ask what's up?
Does 'I don't care' mean that?

 

[Wilko]

Read it and learn:

 

[k2bluesky]

It's about sex isn't it, you only want her if you can bonk her, maybe she felt used and wants to see if you really like her rather than just want a shag. Go to Milan, sleep in separate beds, see if you can enjoy being with her without a shag at the end then you'll know if you really love her.

 

[Safeway]

If she really did not want to be with you then why would she say she misses you and wants to go to Milan with you.

A free weekend of SHOPPING?

 

[Deleted member 18477]

Quick story, my girlfreind of a year split with me over the weekend, it's all proper sad as all relationship endings are and feel pretty boo at the moment but just wondering if anyone could share their expiereinces of what they did in this situation.

We were together for about 15 months but since my dad got ill a few months ago it shook me and my attitude to her got worse and eventually ended up wrecking my relationship.

I've had relationship endings previously and handled them badly as in contacting them all the time, I love you all the time and calling them all the time, I realise this is the worst thing to do and wont do that, as much as im dying to.

Now I saw her this morning to drop something round to her, at the front door she told me she missed me, I simply responded with...this is your choice, she said she wants to stay in my life etcand for me to stay her freind and I again said this cannot happen and then said my goodbye's and walked away.

Just need some advice of what people have done to get the one they love back?

I'm not going to contact her or chase her at all...even though im desperate too.

We have a trip booked together a week friday to Milan, dont know what to do.com as yesterday as we travelled back from dublin together she said I'd still like to go.

Thanks in advance guys.

your doing the right thing... dont chase her, dont be desperate, dont seem like a creep. It was her choice so respect that by giving her space. (i wouldnt go to milan as you now need space to sort your life out) Loads of girls want to be friends but dont bother until you've both had space and decided what's best. you never know she might realise how much she wants you by not having you in contact all the time.

the one thing you have to NOT do in all this though is break her heart (even if shes broken yours) as you might never get a chance to win her back. just be polite in any exchanges you have no matter how hard it is.

 

[Nibble]

Call her bluff and disappear for a while. She can't miss you if you are with her the whole time.

 

[byf1]

Oh come now, what is wrong with you lot, surely we have all had this before! If a woman says 'She does not want to be with you' then most of the time this does not mean that at all. IT IS A TEST! It is a test to see how you will react, to see if you will open up to her. If she really did not want to be with you then why would she say she misses you and wants to go to Milan with you.

RULE 1: Do not take what a woman says on face value:

Does 'fine' mean 'fine'?
Does 'I don't normally do this on a first date' mean that?
Does 'nothing' mean nothing when you ask what's up?
Does 'I don't care' mean that?

Thats what I feel too mate but maybe im dilussional, It didnt feel like she is done with this irrelevant of what shes saying!

 

[byf1]

your doing the right thing... dont chase her, dont be desperate, dont seem like a creep. It was her choice so respect that by giving her space. (i wouldnt go to milan as you now need space to sort your life out) Loads of girls want to be friends but dont bother until you've both had space and decided what's best. you never know she might realise how much she wants you by not having you in contact all the time.

the one thing you have to NOT do in all this though is break her heart (even if shes broken yours) as you might never get a chance to win her back. just be polite in any exchanges you have no matter how hard it is.

Cheers mate, loving the advice.

 

[Twizzle]

'Friends' is well dodgy, as then she might think she can have you on the back burner and get together when she may want to (and that's never, in reality).
Start being independent and doing your own things, you may find you aren't as bothered any more anyway and can get other girls anyway.
As for Milan - "in view of the circumstances I am making other plans".
If she wanted to get back together she knows how to reach you - it's not your move to make. I'd become scarce if I were you, don't even go to places where she can easily find you.

 

[byf1]

Cheers for the views and advice.

Be good to get a womens angle on this?

 

[Perkino]

It sounds like she's offered you a couple of chances to take her back already. Create a conversation with her and ask her what she wants, it may have changed since yesterday. If she says just friends then either take a mate to Milan or let her go on a girls shopping trip.

She needs to be able to miss you and if she wants to end it then you must make it as easy on yourself as possible

 

[Munkfish]

This is exactly what I would do, not saying its the right thing but...

Step 1, find a mate as a replacement for the milan trip see if anyone fancies it.

Step 2, ask the ex if she wants to go to milan and see if you can get things on track out there.

Step 3 yes, if she says yes, bin your mate off and let them know that you and the mrs are back on.

Step 3 no, tell her thats fine, but you still want to go away to clear your head and now Dave is going with you for a lads weekend.(this should make her totally jealous and will be thinking about you being away and no doubt contact you when your back).

Step 4, get shitfaced in Milan and get over the Ex.

Step 5, when the ex contacts you on your return asking you how it was and that she misses you and wished she had gone with you, just tell her how you missed her and wished you was there, and how you and Dave just had a couple of quiet nights in.

 

[Lady Gull]

My opinion as a woman for what its worth:-

"Just want to be friends" usually means - I don't want to go out with you anymore!!!

You have presumably told her that you don't want to break up - so she is aware of this - do not contact her.

I would say Milan would be extremely strained under the circumstances and "in view of the circumstances I am making other plans" is a perfect response.

If she truly misses you then I would think she will contact you but beware that this isn't just because the boredom factor has set in and she fancies a night of passion with someone familiar!!!

My advice is never go back - it rarely works and is always worse the second split!!!

 

[Deleted member 18477]

This is exactly what I would do, not saying its the right thing but...

Step 1, find a mate as a replacement for the milan trip see if anyone fancies it.

Step 2, ask the ex if she wants to go to milan and see if you can get things on track out there.

Step 3 yes, if she says yes, bin your mate off and let them know that you and the mrs are back on.

Step 3 no, tell her thats fine, but you still want to go away to clear your head and now Dave is going with you for a lads weekend.(this should make her totally jealous and will be thinking about you being away and no doubt contact you when your back).

Step 4, get shitfaced in Milan and get over the Ex.

Step 5, when the ex contacts you on your return asking you how it was and that she misses you and wished she had gone with you, just tell her how you missed her and wished you was there, and how you and Dave just had a couple of quiet nights in.

I wouldnt recommend lying. she may never trust anything you say again. Tell her you went out and had a few beers with dave and just chatted about everything to clear your head - thats a better response.

 

[Nibble]

She's probably shagging this Dave bloke.

 

[ATFC Seagull]

Presumably you have both already paid 50/50 for Milan?

 

[oldalbiongirl]

My opinion as a woman for what its worth:-

"Just want to be friends" usually means - I don't want to go out with you anymore!!!

You have presumably told her that you don't want to break up - so she is aware of this - do not contact her.

I would say Milan would be extremely strained under the circumstances and "in view of the circumstances I am making other plans" is a perfect response.

If she truly misses you then I would think she will contact you but beware that this isn't just because the boredom factor has set in and she fancies a night of passion with someone familiar!!!

My advice is never go back - it rarely works and is always worse the second split!!!

I agree with lg