How to get your ex girlfreind back?

[byf1]

Quick story, my girlfreind of a year split with me over the weekend, it's all proper sad as all relationship endings are and feel pretty boo at the moment but just wondering if anyone could share their expiereinces of what they did in this situation.

We were together for about 15 months but since my dad got ill a few months ago it shook me and my attitude to her got worse and eventually ended up wrecking my relationship.

I've had relationship endings previously and handled them badly as in contacting them all the time, I love you all the time and calling them all the time, I realise this is the worst thing to do and wont do that, as much as im dying to.

Now I saw her this morning to drop something round to her, at the front door she told me she missed me, I simply responded with...this is your choice, she said she wants to stay in my life etcand for me to stay her freind and I again said this cannot happen and then said my goodbye's and walked away.

Just need some advice of what people have done to get the one they love back?

I'm not going to contact her or chase her at all...even though im desperate too.

We have a trip booked together a week friday to Milan, dont know what to do.com as yesterday as we travelled back from dublin together she said I'd still like to go.

Thanks in advance guys.

 

[ILIKECANDLES]

Take an escort instead. In fact, take two.

im sorry. on reflection thats wasnt very funny. Its a tough place to be but shes obviously confused and your are better off away while she sorts her confusion out. Best for you to go but go with a mate. Milans a great place but not very romantic so I doubt youll miss her. You never know, you going might force her to deal with her issues. Taking her is just going to end badly and the moment you land back in the UK youll be back in the same position you are now.

 

[Fungus]

She seems to have given you two golden opportunities to get her back, unless I've missunderstood?

 

[LamieRobertson]

i take it if u don't go to milan u will be free to watch the Cardiff game? i think u have part of the answer there

 

[LamieRobertson]

She seems to have given you two golden opportunities to get her back, unless I've missunderstood?

thats what i thought and yet its about winning her back...confusing

 

[Jack Daniels]

She seems to have given you two golden opportunities to get her back, unless I've missunderstood?

This.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Who dumped who ?

 

[byf1]

She seems to have given you two golden opportunities to get her back, unless I've missunderstood?

We only split on Saturday and she was 100% adament it's what she wanted and she only would want to be freinds, I didnt want to cave in and profess my love for her as she knows im desperate for her to still be with me. I didnt think it was a good idea to give her anything, it's her choice and I cant be messed around. If she misses me that much time will tell as whatever happens we both need space dont we?

It's so very confusing.

 

[byf1]

Who dumped who ?

She dumped me mate.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

We only split on Saturday and she was 100% adament it's what she wanted and she only would want to be freinds, I didnt want to cave in and profess my love for her as she knows im desperate for her to still be with me. I didnt think it was a good idea to give her anything, it's her choice and I cant be messed around. If she misses me that much time will tell as whatever happens we both need space dont we?

It's so very confusing.

You are playing the right game. Tell her you still love her but friends is not enough at least I hope you did when you split up. Lay your cards on the table and walk away. Chances of getting back together ? 10-1.

 

[n1 gull]

You are playing the right game. Tell her you still love her but friends is not enough at least I hope you did when you split up. Lay your cards on the table and walk away. Chances of getting back together ? 10-1.

Its a Spielberg tip at 10-1 where can I place my bet? Never go back, ask Micky Adams

 

[ees complicated no?]

Sounds like we are in the same boat.

 

[Biscuit]

You're playing it PERFECTLY mate. Chin up.

Next time you spend an extended amount of time, and the situation is right, tell her you think you could both work on the relationship to make sure you both get out of it what you want as it seems a shame to end something that was so promising. Then, as US says, walk away. MUCH easier said than done!

 

[byf1]

You are playing the right game. Tell her you still love her but friends is not enough at least I hope you did when you split up. Lay your cards on the table and walk away. Chances of getting back together ? 10-1.

Thats the thing, I've checked a little bit of advice on here and begging for her back or coming on strong doesnt work. If this has any chance then she surely needs time to miss me, I think?!

I told her how much I wanted us to go on etc but she wasnt having it....that was Sunday morning and the problem was that we were in Dublin for a wedding and then were pretty much stuck in each others company all of Sunday & Monday travelling back, it was all freindly and nice and wasnt as if we split.

On Sunday evening we went out for a meal, got on great, watched a film and slept in the same bed but without anything too touchy feely.

Then Monday we took the ferry and did the huge jaunt by train from Holyhead back home, again all lovely and freindly without any real touchy feely stuff.

My old man picked us up from the station and in the car she starts massaging my shoulders, its all strange.....but I want her to want me and that surely can only be done if she gets freedom, space and a chance to miss me.

 

[byf1]

You're playing it PERFECTLY mate. Chin up.

Next time you spend an extended amount of time, and the situation is right, tell her you think you could both work on the relationship to make sure you both get out of it what you want as it seems a shame to end something that was so promising. Then, as US says, walk away. MUCH easier said than done!

Cheers son.

This Milan thing could be ideal or a nightmare, thinking of having pretty much no contact until then...not sure

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Thats the thing, I've checked a little bit of advice on here and begging for her back or coming on strong doesnt work. If this has any chance then she surely needs time to miss me, I think?!

I told her how much I wanted us to go on etc but she wasnt having it....that was Sunday morning and the problem was that we were in Dublin for a wedding and then were pretty much stuck in each others company all of Sunday & Monday travelling back, it was all freindly and nice and wasnt as if we split.

On Sunday evening we went out for a meal, got on great, watched a film and slept in the same bed but without anything too touchy feely.

Then Monday we took the ferry and did the huge jaunt by train from Holyhead back home, again all lovely and freindly without any real touchy feely stuff.

When a Woman stops loving you or having feelings for you it is a monumental task to get her to feel the same way again. Not impossible but very hard so prepare yourself for the worse. You did exactly the right thing and the " I miss you " is just crumbs, nothing meaningful. If she says " I love you and made a mistake and want to work at it " you have something to work on but don't hold your breath mate. Its a tough one. Don't take people for granted and take out life on them, easier said than done I know but I speak from experience. Good luck.

 

[byf1]

When a Woman stops loving you or having feelings for you it is a monumental task to get her to feel the same way again. Not impossible but very hard so prepare yourself for the worse. You did exactly the right thing and the " I miss you " is just crumbs, nothing meaningful. If she says " I love you and made a mistake and want to work at it " you have something to work on but don't hold your breath mate. Its a tough one. Don't take people for granted and take out life on them, easier said than done I know but I speak from experience. Good luck.

Thanks for advice buddy.

Thats the thing, the love and feelings in my opinion are still there so I defo dont want to pressure her. I know what you mean about the crumbs, I believe she did think about me and miss me but I also think it was a trap to give her some power, no1 wants to see their ex ok about the split when you still love them, do they?

I'm going tonight and must keep myself busy, that is for sure!!

 

[BBassic]

 

[Seagull27]

The problem is, by doing all the nice stuff with her, but just as friends, it gives her a chance to get over you slowly and gradually turn you in to a friend, whereas you'll still be massively in love with her.

You've got to be the one who judges the situation as we on NSC can't tell whether she might want to get back with you later or definitely doesn't. But personally, I think you should try and avoid spending long periods of time with her, if any. Be friendly towards her, but don't make too much effort to see her or do things for her.

This approach will do one of two things:
1) She realises how much she loves you, misses you and wants you back.
2) The time you spend away from her gives you the chance to get yourself together and move on from her.

I'll say at this point that 1) is the far less likely outcome.

As someone else said, I reckon it's best if you plan to take a friend to Milan.

 

[kano]

Seems like the perfect time for a CryWank.