Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
I manage to dress myself in the mornings.
I can wire a plug.
I can construct flatpack furniture if the instructions are clear.
But it would appear I am INCAPABLE of eating a kiwi fruit.
Usually I have an apple at lunchtime, but we've run out. So I brought two kiwi's to work today, along with a serrated knife to slice them with, and a teaspoon. I've just tried to have one of them, and to be honest, it all turned into something of an ordeal.
I sliced the kiwi through the middle (cutting across the core, not down it). So far, so good. I then picked up one of the halves, and brandishing my teaspoon, I attempted to scoop out the green, seedy flesh, rather in the style you might scoop out a boiled egg. The kiwi was having none of it. The spoon slithered across the surface, hardly penetrating at all. The core was proving to be a formidable foe. In my frustration I pushed harder, but this merely resulted in the kiwi flesh "mashing up" underneath the spoon around the core, and I ended up rupturing the furry brown skin. Then it shot out of my hand and splattered all over the keyboard. The whole project has turned into a disaster. I have green juice and pips all over my desk, and an unmolested 2nd halve of kiwi which I am now apprehensive about tackling, lest it prove as difficult as its sibling. The second (whole) kiwi has remained in my rucksack, I have neither the time, will or inclination to attempt a similar disecting project on that one until I have foundered upon a more condusive method of consumption.
In hindsight, perhaps I should have peeled all the skin off and sliced it up, but this whole messy experience has rendered me slightly traumatised today, so I think I'll leave it for now. I had similar problems last week with a very large orange, which had a skin tougher than tanned leather and an astonishing amount of pith. I gave up on that as well in the end. Fruit is RUBBISH sometimes.
Anyway, whats the best way of eating a kiwi ?
I can wire a plug.
I can construct flatpack furniture if the instructions are clear.
But it would appear I am INCAPABLE of eating a kiwi fruit.
Usually I have an apple at lunchtime, but we've run out. So I brought two kiwi's to work today, along with a serrated knife to slice them with, and a teaspoon. I've just tried to have one of them, and to be honest, it all turned into something of an ordeal.
I sliced the kiwi through the middle (cutting across the core, not down it). So far, so good. I then picked up one of the halves, and brandishing my teaspoon, I attempted to scoop out the green, seedy flesh, rather in the style you might scoop out a boiled egg. The kiwi was having none of it. The spoon slithered across the surface, hardly penetrating at all. The core was proving to be a formidable foe. In my frustration I pushed harder, but this merely resulted in the kiwi flesh "mashing up" underneath the spoon around the core, and I ended up rupturing the furry brown skin. Then it shot out of my hand and splattered all over the keyboard. The whole project has turned into a disaster. I have green juice and pips all over my desk, and an unmolested 2nd halve of kiwi which I am now apprehensive about tackling, lest it prove as difficult as its sibling. The second (whole) kiwi has remained in my rucksack, I have neither the time, will or inclination to attempt a similar disecting project on that one until I have foundered upon a more condusive method of consumption.
In hindsight, perhaps I should have peeled all the skin off and sliced it up, but this whole messy experience has rendered me slightly traumatised today, so I think I'll leave it for now. I had similar problems last week with a very large orange, which had a skin tougher than tanned leather and an astonishing amount of pith. I gave up on that as well in the end. Fruit is RUBBISH sometimes.
Anyway, whats the best way of eating a kiwi ?
