Hilarious dog poo stories? Anyone?

[Caveman]

When I was about 7 years old and playing for a local football team, a new lad turned up and wanted to try and get in the team. Well, training started and in this new kid slides for the ball, only to get the largest dog turd stuck to his knee.
As kids everyone laughed and made “Oooww you pong” noises. The lad got up and ran off into the distance, never to return again.

Does anyone else have an unfortunate story poo story…?

 

[Titanic]

Yes... when I was about seven, I went to a football training session...

 

[Caveman]

Hope you've had a wash!

 

[Meade's Ball]

I think we've all had a tale or two from the wonderful mix of French bangers and dog poos. Those darned fuses. "Go on Noddy, have a look to see if it's gone out." "Alright.", says Noddy.

Bang. There's dogshit dangling from the end of Noddy's nose.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Not dog poo, but my late (bless him) Grandad was blackberry picking one day, climbed over a wooden stile, tripped and went headlong into a cow pat. Does that count?

 

[lost in london]

I fell into a pond once, does that count?

 

[Marshy]

Were looking after the mother and father in laws dog at the moment.

Our 2 year old came running into the bedroom this morning with what the wife assumed was dog shit all over his face !....she started panicking as you would expect...

Only to realise after a few seconds that the little git had been stealing the chocolate of the Xmas tree....

Hes a little really...

 

[Kev the Ape]

When i was 13, i was riding along the cookoo trail on my bike with my mates and my dad, and then my bike hit a mound of dog shit and i went straight over the handlebars and landed arse first into the dog shit.

 

[Hungry Joe]

My brother as a small child rolled down a hill and ended up with a comical dog poo stripe sround him.

Our old cat Tammy used to get a bit runny in the bottom department now and then and did that amusing wiping her arse on the carpet by pulling herself along with her front legs thing. One time she went right across me and my brothers bedroom and left a trail across my sister's slippers. Not sure why my sister's slippers were in our room but it was nothing pervy, I promise.

One night I came home from the pub very drunk and sat down to take my trendy (at the time) Chelsea boots off only for my hand to come flying off the sole spraying runny dog shit everywhere. I soon discovered I had traipsed it right through the house. My how we laughed at my freccles.

 

[nwgull]

Does everybody else remember white dog turds?

 

[SussexHoop]

Didn't poodles used to do white turds?

 

[Hungry Joe]

I thought it was Dalmations, or were they spotty ones? The white one's were crusty on the outside and chewy in the middle, like Sensation sweets. I think they were a 70's thing.

 

[supaseagull]

Dog Poo?...yes there's lots of it at Village Way North...

Field full of shit
It's just a field full of shit
field full of shiii-iit
it's just a field full of shiii-it

 

[SussexHoop]

I thought it was Dalmations, or were they spotty ones? The white one's were crusty on the outside and chewy in the middle, like Sensation sweets. I think they were a 70's thing.

Just how hungry were you in those days Joe??

 

[Hungry Joe]

Just how hungry were you in those days Joe??

He he. I was very, very hungry.

 

[ShorehamGull]

Several stories, but my favourite is a cow pat story.
During the summer I went camping with a couple of mates of mine. One of my mates got out of his tent at night to go for a piss and steps straight into a massive cow pat, and he was wearing nothing on his feet, he could not get rid of the smell for days

 

[Caveman]

I thought it was Dalmations, or were they spotty ones? The white one's were crusty on the outside and chewy in the middle, like Sensation sweets. I think they were a 70's thing.

This is sick! have you visited www.shiteaters.com by any chance?

Please no god no!

 

[Caveman]

P.S. DONT LOOK AT WORK!

 

[Northstander]

This is sick! have you visited www.shiteaters.com by any chance?

Please no god no!

I would strongly advise against looking at this whilst viewing in an unsafe area!

*someone told me about it by the way, I have never seen it so dont know what it is, do you believe me?*

 

[Caveman]

Laura likes nothing better than sucking on a turd ..