Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
If you STILL have some last MINUTE presents to BUY may I urge YOU to look at the ARS Christmas Catalogue for those last minute GIFT ideas.
FIRSTLY the perennial BEST seller the Dick Tight WALLET is still in STOCK and for the first time this year comes in TWO sizes, the STANDARD wallet which comes with the money from the SALE of Bobby Zamora and the DELUXE size which not only comes with the MONEY from the sale of Bobby Zamora but the 1983 FA Cup Final TAKINGS too. Both WALLETS are GUARANTEED unopened.
Next we have a NOVELTY item as SEEN on QVC and is ideal for your CHRISTMAS party. If you have GUESTS lingering like a BAD smell at your party then simply put on YOUR Dick Tight FRIGHT mask and START to drone on about how you SAVED the Albion, how YOU personally BUILT Falmer and how you TAUGHT Bobby Zamora how to play FOOTBALL. Guaranteed the guests WILL be off in seconds or money BACK.
Thirdly we have the BRAND new DVD by ARS productions, 'THE Great 1983 FA Cup Final money ROBBERY' starring Bruce Forsyth as Dick Tight, David Walliams as Martin Perry, Allan Carr as Attila the Stockbroker and Julian Clary as Paul Samrah. As described in 'Film REVIEW' magazine, the natural FOLLOW up to the Italian JOB and nominated for OSCARS already. Watch as these FOUR clueless clowns TRY to steal the MONEY from the 1983 FA Cup Final and ESCAPE to Spain and along the WAY their VARIOUS disasters such as taking 14 years to BUILD a new ground and COCKING up EVERYTHING they try to DO.
Fourthly on the BEST sellers list is the new book, IT was the ARS what DONE it - How the ARS built Falmer. Forget the FAKE stories put about by the LICKERS this is the real story behind THE Withdean years and HOW Falmer got built. READ about how the ARS got the Lardy Jocko CLOWN sacked, how the CLIPBOARD Kid tried to TAKE out the ARS leader Ernest in Church Road, REMINISCE over all the MASSIVE protests the ARS held and not FORGETTING how the sight of the ARS leader Ernest SITTING naked on the CLOCK Tower singing DICK out and WE shall NOT be moved INSPIRED Tony Bloom into SACKING Dick Tight and booting him out of the CLUB.
Many other ITEMS still AVAILABLE and all PROCEEDS to the CAMPAIGN to RENAME the EAST Stand the ARS Stand in recognition of EVERYTHING we have done for the club.
FIRSTLY the perennial BEST seller the Dick Tight WALLET is still in STOCK and for the first time this year comes in TWO sizes, the STANDARD wallet which comes with the money from the SALE of Bobby Zamora and the DELUXE size which not only comes with the MONEY from the sale of Bobby Zamora but the 1983 FA Cup Final TAKINGS too. Both WALLETS are GUARANTEED unopened.
Next we have a NOVELTY item as SEEN on QVC and is ideal for your CHRISTMAS party. If you have GUESTS lingering like a BAD smell at your party then simply put on YOUR Dick Tight FRIGHT mask and START to drone on about how you SAVED the Albion, how YOU personally BUILT Falmer and how you TAUGHT Bobby Zamora how to play FOOTBALL. Guaranteed the guests WILL be off in seconds or money BACK.
Thirdly we have the BRAND new DVD by ARS productions, 'THE Great 1983 FA Cup Final money ROBBERY' starring Bruce Forsyth as Dick Tight, David Walliams as Martin Perry, Allan Carr as Attila the Stockbroker and Julian Clary as Paul Samrah. As described in 'Film REVIEW' magazine, the natural FOLLOW up to the Italian JOB and nominated for OSCARS already. Watch as these FOUR clueless clowns TRY to steal the MONEY from the 1983 FA Cup Final and ESCAPE to Spain and along the WAY their VARIOUS disasters such as taking 14 years to BUILD a new ground and COCKING up EVERYTHING they try to DO.
Fourthly on the BEST sellers list is the new book, IT was the ARS what DONE it - How the ARS built Falmer. Forget the FAKE stories put about by the LICKERS this is the real story behind THE Withdean years and HOW Falmer got built. READ about how the ARS got the Lardy Jocko CLOWN sacked, how the CLIPBOARD Kid tried to TAKE out the ARS leader Ernest in Church Road, REMINISCE over all the MASSIVE protests the ARS held and not FORGETTING how the sight of the ARS leader Ernest SITTING naked on the CLOCK Tower singing DICK out and WE shall NOT be moved INSPIRED Tony Bloom into SACKING Dick Tight and booting him out of the CLUB.
Many other ITEMS still AVAILABLE and all PROCEEDS to the CAMPAIGN to RENAME the EAST Stand the ARS Stand in recognition of EVERYTHING we have done for the club.
