Guts

[Meade's Ball]

What were the second and third goals like on Saturday?
I had to go and have a 25 minute shit at half-time. It was agonising. I heard Leon equalise and wanted to get back to my seat, but my stomach wouldn't let me. I was sweating like a necrophiliac in the House of Lords and about 3 meals came out of me in bubbling crude form. What a horrid way to spend the start of the second-half.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

I had to go and have a 25 minute shit at half-time. It was agonising. I heard Leon equalise and wanted to get back to my seat, but my stomach wouldn't let me. I was sweating like a necrophiliac in the House of Lords and about 3 meals came out of me in bubbling crude form. What a horrid way to spend the start of the second-half.

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

25 MINUTES!

Shit that must have stung like........like......

like Kinky had tied you face down to a bed for a fortnight.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I was uncomfortable. People kept using the cubicles all through half-time so i couldn't get in there. Lots of old blokes. Clearly infirm. By the time i was in there, the floor was soaking and i had to put loads of paper down. I'd had a cheese and spinach rosti for lunch. I might have eaten some poisonous sussex cheddar.

 

[Hiney]

You have my sympathies

It's bad enough having this sort of experience in the comfort of your own home but in a public place it is awful.

You cannot possibly carry all the accessories you need for such a performance when you are out, such as germolene (or cortisone cream depending on the severity of the 'attack'), a good book, moistened wipes to soothe the inflammation and most important of all, some good quality toilet paper (quilted is a good choice).

I hope you have now recovered.

 

[Stinky Kat]

caused by vending Pizza?

 

[Parson Henry]

You have my sympathies

It's bad enough having this sort of experience in the comfort of your own home but in a public place it is awful.

You cannot possibly carry all the accessories you need for such a performance when you are out, such as germolene (or cortisone cream depending on the severity of the 'attack'), a good book, moistened wipes to soothe the inflammation and most important of all, some good quality toilet paper (quilted is a good choice).

I hope you have now recovered.

You missed some good quality air freshener