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Funniest Train/Bus travel experiences..
- Thread starter IKDRF
- Start date
deletebeepbeepbeep
Well-known member
- May 12, 2009
- 21,692
A bit morbid to be funny innit, what about all the poor bastards who had to watch the event, and those who had to clear it up, and the family left behind, would put a bit of dampener of your day that.
Marc1901
Peace out.
Been on a bus ride to churchill square and some between 15 and 20 pretended to a air hostes. Was rather funny 
- Thread starter
- #5
its funny when people don't realise the connection between the word 'severe' and 'fatality' as implying that there may be fatalities of a somewhat more benign nature.......
I was on the train coming home a few weeks ago, and they announced over the tannoy;
"If a Mr ****** could come and collect their tutu from coach one, it would be much appreciated"
Still dont know to this day -
a) if it was a joke,
b) how they knew it was his (must have had his name in it)
"If a Mr ****** could come and collect their tutu from coach one, it would be much appreciated"
Still dont know to this day -
a) if it was a joke,
b) how they knew it was his (must have had his name in it)
Nottseagull
Well-known member
Would that be Mr Palace?
The screamer
NSC's biggest geek
On the way back from millwall this season we got on the train home at London bridge and a Jamaican man asked if he could sit with us, then he kept asking if he could stroke our hair, then went on to saywho he wanted to make out with first, he then kept attempting to touch my balls, as well as still attacking our hair every few minutes, he then openned the window and started smoking a joint, when we got to brighton we needed to get another train to southwick and he was following us so we had to trick him just so he didnt follow us, who knows what he would of done to us if he followed us the whole way home, as scary as it was it was so funny at the same time...strangest man i've ever come across
- Thread starter
- #9
or 
or Billy the Fish
Technocrat
Probably a severe ARSE RAPING. How did you trick him?
Did it happen to be April 1st?
bhaexpress
New member
I don't suppose it crossed your mind to call the Police ?
T'was before then.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,501
Well I wasn't on public transport myself at the time, but the sight of one of NSC's finest yelling "BUS WANKERS" at N-Dubz , who were standing round the front of their tour bus at Woodall services on Easter Monday was fairly entertaining.
pasty
A different kind of pasty
2 classics, both on the tube spring to mind.
In a totally rammed carriage in rush hour a young (rather large) woman shrieked at the bloke behind her screaming "Will you keep you bloody hands of my arse", to which the bloke very calmly replied "Love, if I was going to touch up anyones arse in this carriage it would be one a dammed sight smaller than yours"
A slightly pissed Aussie girl with rather large breasts was being obviously leered at by a chap, so she pulled up her t-shirt (no bra on) gave her boobs a great wiggle and shouted at the bloke "Here yer go mate, now you've had proper look, f*** off"
In a totally rammed carriage in rush hour a young (rather large) woman shrieked at the bloke behind her screaming "Will you keep you bloody hands of my arse", to which the bloke very calmly replied "Love, if I was going to touch up anyones arse in this carriage it would be one a dammed sight smaller than yours"
A slightly pissed Aussie girl with rather large breasts was being obviously leered at by a chap, so she pulled up her t-shirt (no bra on) gave her boobs a great wiggle and shouted at the bloke "Here yer go mate, now you've had proper look, f*** off"
glasfryn
cleaning up cat sick
yeh in London one day years ago and the bus from Victoria to Hyde Park went the wrong way and the driver "had not done this route before" and was being directed in the right direction by a Japanese tourist
bhaexpress
New member
Why did they waste time saying 'bus' ? That scrawny prat Dappy is one person I could happily slap, his fake street patois makes him look a bigger tosser than Tim Westwood. I think that Vanilla Ice has more credibility.
Woodchip
It's all about the bikes
I was with you IKDRF.its funny when people don't realise the connection between the word 'severe' and 'fatality' as implying that there may be fatalities of a somewhat more benign nature.......
On the school bus we had a right asshole bus driver. It was pretty loud and the bottom deck were singing BHA crowd chants. A girl got all cheeky who hadn't paid to get on as she forgot her money. He stopped the bus and told the girl to run home and get money, and the driver said he wouldn't drive until she came back. Luckily where he stopped was near her house so she was only 5 minutes, still very very funny.
I was on a Southern Train back from Haywards Heath the other week, and when we pulled in at Wivesfield, a schoolboy was standing on the platform in clear discomfort needing a toilet desperately, he then got on the train, and stood in the toilet waiting for the revolving door to close, however it must have been broken, so it never did close.
Not sure what the outcome was as I got off at Burgess Hill, but I suspect his walk home may have been uncomfortable!
Not sure what the outcome was as I got off at Burgess Hill, but I suspect his walk home may have been uncomfortable!