Lammy said:
Bry Nylon said:Franks Wild Years update on his attempt to locate a leak having spend the past few days laying new floorboards genuinely had me laughing out loud... here it is below
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Afternoon all.
Well, just as I said I couldn't find the leak,(after 8 hours of ripping up ) I looked up as I phoned the plumber to see a dark stain spreading across the kitchen ceiling.
I ran up stairs, then back down again and up again once more. Once the panic had subsided I :
1. Removed the bathroom door.
2. Removed some skirting board.
3. Unscrewed some ply.
4. Started pinging up floor boards.
Now the thing is, when a nail goes through a plastic pipe it sort of seals itself. So water had been trickling out over 3-4 days.
However as I ripped up a particular floor board and the offending nail came out of the pipe I was hit full in the face by a water cannons torrent of cold water.
f*** me I shat my pants.
So floundering and blinded by this Niagran jet I grab the pipe to stem the flow.
OK ,so its not pissing out everywhere now, however after a couple of seconds it dawned on me that :
1. I was soaking wet.
2. As soon as I let go of the pipe it will carry on its biblesque flood.
3. I'm a twat.
Never mind, the wonders of the mobile phone will rescue me.
Oh no it wont, because all the ply I'd taken up down stairs I'd lent against the front door. So no fucker could get in even if I called them.
I sat there in a lake of cold water feeling my testicles shrinking in the artic temperature and thought to myself "wait till those jokers on NSC hear about this one" !!
The shame of this thought got me going. So I reached across to a distant bath towel, wrapped it around my hand and the pipe, quickly withdrew my hand, ran downstairs, jumped out the front window to the stop cock, jumped back in again to fetch a screwdriver to prise the cover open, back out again, turned off the water, and by the time I'd got back in "The Possideon Adventure's" credits were rolling a and the bathroom was flooded and the kitchen ceiling (freshly plastered and painted) was soaked.
I then spent two hours fixing the pipe and clearing up and another two hours replacing the door, renailing down boards and screwing down the ply. I finished at about half ten. Had a bath,went to bed and got up at 2.30am to go to work. Drove to Cardiff to be told we now weren't starting until two in the afternoon.
I drove home and went to bed.
So hows the DIY going? you ask.
Brilliantly thanks.
Buzzer said:
Man of Harveys said:
London Irish said:Hmm....you say to your workmates, here are these Albion fans in their 30s, 40s, 50s who flame each other using the language of 12-year-olds. They say, wow, that's great, it must be so cool to be an Albion fan
Yes, exactly. You see, they're pretty intelligent people on the whole but they also have a sense of humour which is capable of encompassing the bawdy.London Irish said:Hmm....you say to your workmates, here are these Albion fans in their 30s, 40s, 50s who flame each other using the language of 12-year-olds. They say, wow, that's great, it must be so cool to be an Albion fan
London Irish said:Hmm....you say to your workmates, here are these Albion fans in their 30s, 40s, 50s who flame each other using the language of 12-year-olds. They say, wow, that's great, it must be so cool to be an Albion fan
?
Man of Harveys said:Actually, the other day, I leaned over to my colleague and, quoting Marcus Aurelius, quipped "he who has seen present things has seen all, both everything which has taken place from all eternity and everything which will be for time without end; for all things are of one kin and of one form." We all shat ourselves laughing at that. I hope that gives a good impression of all Albion fans, cos that's REALLY important.
Man of Harveys said:Actually, the other day, I leaned over to my colleague and, quoting Marcus Aurelius, quipped "he who has seen present things has seen all, both everything which has taken place from all eternity and everything which will be for time without end; for all things are of one kin and of one form." We all shat ourselves laughing at that. I hope that gives a good impression of all Albion fans, cos that's REALLY important.
