Cocaine

[Durlston]

I feel helplessly addicted to coke once I've had a few drinks. I'm craving the drug and know it's destroying me by getting to the stage where the binges are putting my heart under severe strain and fear a heart attack is not far away if I carry on like this. I've gone back to my bad old ways.

I'm receiving treatment at Addaction but there's only so much they can do to support me. I can be clean for a week or two but then feel I have to go on a massive binge. It's affecting every aspect of my life and making me paranoid but the buzz I get from it is stronger than sex, gambling or drinking.

I've already got a massive problem with diazepam and can't see a way out of this mess. I'm 32 and should be settling down now but don't know where I'll be in 5-10 years time.

 

[Robot Chicken]

Seriously, you need to quit drinking then. You know the cocaine is killing you and if you only do coke after drinking then simple...go teetotal.

You know very well where you'll be in 5-10 years, in a box in the ground, if you don't find the inner strength to quit. Sorry for being harsh.

 

[Durlston]

Seriously, you need to quit drinking then. You know the cocaine is killing you and if you only do coke after drinking then simple...go teetotal.

You know very well where you'll be in 5-10 years, in a box in the ground, if you don't find the inner strength to quit. Sorry for being harsh.

That's ok mate. I can't stop after a couple of pints. My dopamine levels are too high and find it impossible with the positive feelings in my mind.

 

[empire]

really feel for you fella,not something ive ever done or wanted to,but people can get through this,but imo the help isnt here,its with the experts,and im sure your loving family

 

[Durlston]

I just wish I'd never tried cocaine. The only way to stop is being cut off from everybody and staying in every weekend. Easier said than done.

 

[dazzalewis1968]

I just wish I'd never tried cocaine. The only way to stop is being cut off from everybody and staying in every weekend. Easier said than done.

Look you know you have a prob so that's
A super start.
Stay off drinking as well your just putting fuel on the fire.

And find a new circle of mates.
Just some basic rules that may help.

Good luck your on the right track.

 

[Evil Edna]

Most of the coke is shit, waste of cash. Just brake your habit like someone said don't drink. Take up a hobby. I had a drink problem once, it was getting way out of hand got my self into det almost lost my job over it. I feel a lot better for it now. Clear head in the morning, fresh and the day looks good to me. Sometimes I will have a shity day but instead of hitting the bottle I'll go for a ride on my bike to clear the head.

Only you can make this happen, sort it out!

 

[dazzalewis1968]

I just wish I'd never tried cocaine. The only way to stop is being cut off from everybody and staying in every weekend. Easier said than done.

Don't stay in find other things
To do away from drink and drugs !

 

[tedebear]

Looks like you pretty well know what you need to do - its just finding the movtivation to do the hard bits.

 

[pintsawhiskey]

Have 1 night out, force yourself just once not to drink when out, and see how your mates end up as the night goes on beugaling, and talking absolute shit!! will make you realise your missing nothing!! BE STRONG, ITS A VILE HABBIT BUT ONCE YOU HAVE KICKED IT YOUR NEVER GO BACK!! LIFE STYLE CHANGE IS REQUIRED AS WELL!!

 

[Horses Arse]

Look you know you have a prob so that's
A super start.
Stay off drinking as well your just putting fuel on the fire.

And find a new circle of mates.
Just some basic rules that may help.

Good luck your on the right track.

Not sure that poetry will be much help though

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Most of the coke is shit, waste of cash. Just brake your habit like someone said don't drink. Take up a hobby. I had a drink problem once, it was getting way out of hand got my self into det almost lost my job over it. I feel a lot better for it now. Clear head in the morning, fresh and the day looks good to me. Sometimes I will have a shity day but instead of hitting the bottle I'll go for a ride on my bike to clear the head.

Only you can make this happen, sort it out!

Good advice. Admitting you've got a problem is a great step in the right direction but you've got to want to quit.

 

[chimneys]

Attended the funeral of one of my best mates 8 years ago next month. He was 35.

Thought he could handle Coke, but he couldnt.

Dont put your friends and family through that horrific experience. Do whatever you can, but do it!You have to!

 

[ILIKECANDLES]

Mate that is one shitty story. I haven't tried it and have no need. However if you know you have to stop then thats a positive but now you need to WANT to stop more run anything else. That often means breaking from the thugs associated. Exercise is a good route. Bikes, gyms etc or just jogging. You have to have something to fill the void, something positive. I have a friend of mine that build models to fill the time. He also took a break from his friends go used. He's fine now but he also had a drink issue and just stopped everything. It worked for him.

 

[sydney]

you must be an addictive person as you were/are already hooked on barbs....!!!!

advice from me..............get on the net , put all your energy into getting yourself a bird.....that's not into gear...!!!

i've done pounds of the stuff ...!!! what am i left with.... an enlarged heart , rediculously high blood pressure,burst blood vessels in my eyes ,a detatched retina and a wife who doesn't believe a word i say any more(that's a work in progress)

grow some bollocks and do something else with your life........or you'll be in a box soon.

 

[Gully]

I've already got a massive problem with diazepam and can't see a way out of this mess. I'm 32 and should be settling down now but don't know where I'll be in 5-10 years time.

Try and find someone who was doing that sort of stuff 5-10 years ago then ask them how they managed to quit, which would be sound advice, though you might find it hard as the majority of them are dead. It sounds like you are working with people who really can help, but the majority of it depends on you, I really do wish you the very best for the battles that lie ahead.

 

[Caveman]

Do you do much exercise? I know this might seem to be a weird question, but I would guess you have an addictive personality. Try getting involved in a gym, maybe even with a Personal Trainer. Like mentioned you need to knock the booze on the head at least for a month for starters, give yourself a personal goal to begin with.

You can kick it mate!

 

[sammy g]

Google SMART recovery. Its an online support group, started off in The States and beginning to be used over here now. All the big drug agencies such as Addaction are using it.
You may want to look at a short course of Anti-depressants, as your Dopamine levels will be low due to the Cocaine use. They will only work however if your substance use is under control.
As mentioned above, look at your triggers, for example alcohol and try to put things in place to deal with these triggers. Good luck, best foot forward.

 

[Jimmy's gonna get ya!]

Been there and feel your pain.
I would imagine you don't yet have a good enough reason to stop.... find one.
I would also imagine that saving your own life is not reason enough, it wasn't for me.

My advise would be to think of the person who is closest to you in your life. The person who's own life would be in turmoil if you died, and when your about to text/call your dealer, imagine the tears and pain of that close person at your funeral and their life after. Maybe, just maybe that might be the motivation you need to put the phone down, and not make the call.

If you want to private me, I'd be happy to give you my number and chat if you feel it might help.

 

[Srixon]

When I was your age I had a coke problem, really big problem. Was working in London ( I was taking coke before I met this chap ) and got to know this Scottish chap called Dave who worked on the same sites as me.

After work we’d have a few beers and when I started feeling pissed we’d take a few lines to make myself feel level headed. We’d end up back at his flat where’s I found out he was a coke dealer, never seen so much cocaine in my life. He’d cook loads up and make crack and we’d do loads.

Get to work the next morning and felt like crap so went to the toilets and did 4 massive lines just to try and make me feel normal, this started going on for ages before it came to ahead and soon enough I got sacked for being late and the standard of my work.

This was the start of my downfall. Lost my job, spent all my money, lost my flat and my friends. Moved back to my parents and they knew something was up as I became a recluse in their home, Manic depression came and felt like ending it all so needed help big time. Went to the family doctor’s and when I sat down she asked what the problem was, as soon as she said that I just broke down, tears were streaming down my face and she just sat there watching as I cried like a baby, she just waited till I had finished and composed myself then told her everything. She was brilliant and so understanding.

She gave me some tables to take, 2 in the morning, 2 at lunch and 2 in the evening. When I pick my prescription up I took two tables straight away. Had a long walk back to my parents and felt so lonely, just thinking to myself, I’m on my own, what a waste, had everything and now have nothing.

As I entered the house the tablets kicked in, WOW. My parents asked is everything ok son, I just smiled at them and said yes, everything is ok and not to worry.

Couldn’t believe it, an hour earlier and I was balling my eyes out and here I am, smiling and didn’t have a care in the world, god knows what was in these tablets but it felt like I didn’t have any problems and everything will work out.

I got a job three days later working with a local building company and started saving then left them now I’m working back in London, been with the same company for 9 years now.

Got a nice flat, but don’t have much money to spend as most goes on bills, but I’m happy in life, watch Brighton when I can, play golf on Sunday mornings in competitions, started playing golf to stop me going out on Saturday nights and stop the temptations of doing that evil drug.

A year and a half ago I had a relapse, went round a friends house and a big crowed was doing cocaine, ended up doing loads and felt so rough that I carried on doing it all day Sunday, got up Monday and didn’t go to work, I sat there just saying, you stupid idiot and looked back to when I lost everything.

That weekend at my friends was the last straw, haven’t seen them since, changed my phone number, only family, golf buddies and non drug taking friends have it.

Drugs are for losers, I was a loser and I don’t intend going back, life is for living, not dieing. I only have 2 pints in the 19th at the club and that’s my limit. Don’t drink any other time.


Alcohol = Cocaine.