Biggest boo boo you have made at work

[adrian29uk]

Worked in Engineering for a few years. I remember being shown and told how to assemble these hydraulic valves. Did about 400 hundred of the bastards, then they all started failing on test. I only forgot to insert the bloody o-rings. Bosses where not happy. Don't know how much this cost the company, felt like I right pillock.

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

Ordered 40 tonnes of paper to be delivered to a mate at head office as a joke and then forgot to cancel the order. Articulated lorry full of paper and an angry man turned up in our office looking for my friend to sign for delivery.

 

[Rowdey]

Was in charge of 83 Transit vans being loaded at an old airfield in Litchfield.
All vans loaded with generators, stands, uniforms kit etc for a promo.

Site had cctv, so rather than individually hand keys to the drivers, i took decision to put keys behind sun visors..

Drivers arrive, sign out and start to drive off apart from two..
'Can't find my van boss?'
'tsk, it's here just wait, fool..'

eventually all vans leave site.. All 81 of them..

CCTV was not working, inside job and two brand new 312 Merc Sprinters stolen.. with no insurance payout..

Got a proper bollocking about that..

One was recovered 3 months later after doing a <failed> Smash and grab raid on a Curry's in B'ham.

 

[maffew]

imported 60,000 business customers into a database for a predictive dialler, the first phone number had 10 digits so the database field defaulted to 10 characters, hence 80% of the data missing the last digit and 300 phone lines tied up and 70 staff getting sent home. Oops

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Worked in Engineering for a few years. I remember being shown and told how to assemble these hydraulic valves. Did about 400 hundred of the bastards, then they all started failing on test. I only forgot to insert the bloody o-rings. Bosses where not happy. Don't know how much this cost the company, felt like I right pillock.

You weren't working on the Challenger space shuttle were you ??

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Ordered 40 tonnes of paper to be delivered to a mate at head office as a joke and then forgot to cancel the order. Articulated lorry full of paper and an angry man turned up in our office looking for my friend to sign for delivery.

how would it have been a joke if you'f cancelled the order

 

[dannyboy]

as an 18 year old i was working in a grave yard doing various crap jobs . one of the least crap jobs was driving one of the diggers around. anyway one day i realised that if you turned the wheels full lock and let rip you could do a little wheel spin . anyway after a few weeks of wheel spins i was getting good , over did it one day tipped the thing up and i fell out. was pretty scared the thing would fall on me but it didnt and it righted itself . as i breathed a sigh of relief i realised it was still moving so i tried to get into it but it was moving faster and faster. all i could do was put my head in my hands as it turned towards the church. straight into the side of the church.
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..... there was a funeral on at the time

 

[maffew]

as an 18 year old i was working in a grave yard doing various crap jobs . one of the least crap jobs was driving one of the diggers around. anyway one day i realised that if you turned the wheels full lock and let rip you could do a little wheel spin . anyway after a few weeks of wheel spins i was getting good , over did it one day tipped the thing up and i fell out. was pretty scared the thing would fall on me but it didnt and it righted itself . as i breathed a sigh of relief i realised it was still moving so i tried to get into it but it was moving faster and faster. all i could do was put my head in my hands as it turned towards the church. straight into the side of the church.
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and



..... there was a funeral on at the time

f***ing hell if thats true, that is definitely a bad day at work!!!

 

[Lush]

as an 18 year old i was working in a grave yard doing various crap jobs . one of the least crap jobs was driving one of the diggers around. anyway one day i realised that if you turned the wheels full lock and let rip you could do a little wheel spin . anyway after a few weeks of wheel spins i was getting good , over did it one day tipped the thing up and i fell out. was pretty scared the thing would fall on me but it didnt and it righted itself . as i breathed a sigh of relief i realised it was still moving so i tried to get into it but it was moving faster and faster. all i could do was put my head in my hands as it turned towards the church. straight into the side of the church.
.
.
.
and



..... there was a funeral on at the time

 

[Springal]

Nothing *really* bad, but embarrasing a long silly email string with the missus, and I accidently cc'd an email group of about 80 people...!

 

[Barrow Boy]

When my daughter was doing her 'A' Levels she had a part time job at our local Boots. One Saturday an American woman came in and asked her if they had anything for 'crabs'. This, understandably, took her a bit by surprise so she said "I beg your pardon" and the woman said "crabs, I want something for crabs". So my daughter went and got the Pharmacist who took the woman to one side and said "I understand you want something for crabs madam", the woman recoiled in horror and said "cramps, I want something for cramps!"
I'm saving that one for my speech at her wedding!

 

[Herne Hill Seagull]

Threw about £500 worth of books, paper and various other crap (or so I thought at the time) into a giant paper muncher without even looking at it, assuming it to be some giant consignment of the sort of shit samples I used to get sent all the time. Turned out it was for a big presentation by one of our trading partners and had simply been delivered to the wrong address by idiot courier.

The response when I 'phoned the woman who'd put the whole thing together to tell her what had happened and apologise was one of utter silence...

 

[itszamora]

Nothing *really* bad, but embarrasing a long silly email string with the missus, and I accidently cc'd an email group of about 80 people...!

I got cc'd into one of them a little while ago, either by accident or by jilted boyfriend of the person it came from, either way I discovered a lot more than I ever expected to about what someone I went to school with was doing with her boss!

 

[desprateseagull]

Worked in Engineering for a few years. I remember being shown and told how to assemble these hydraulic valves. Did about 400 hundred of the bastards, then they all started failing on test. I only forgot to insert the bloody o-rings. Bosses where not happy. Don't know how much this cost the company, felt like I right pillock.

didnt work for NASA, did you?

 

[Gwylan]

I've been sued for libel three times - although none actually made it to court. Caused me a few sleepless nights though.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Submitted a draft document by mistake which was then uploaded to the web for the whole world to see. Great, a document with my full name on it full of typos that might be held for a long time online. I just hope that future employers have poor googling skills.

Oh and I once got banged on the head by a car park gate which was descending as I was standing under it whilst a potential client was watching in amusement. Doh.

 

[Alonso Moseley]

I fooled a receptionist into thinking 'cunnilingus' was about 'normal' kissing, which was okay until she decided to ask all the offices via loudspeakers on their phones (about 60 people) what it meant.

 

[logan89]

I fooled a receptionist into thinking 'cunnilingus' was about 'normal' kissing, which was okay until she decided to ask all the offices via loudspeakers on their phones (about 60 people) what it meant.

I asked my barber the best thing for baldness.

"Fanny juice!" he said.

"Bollocks," I replied. "You're balder than me!"

"Yes, but what a magnificent moustache!" he quipped





Two men in a bar.

One says to the other.

"f*** knows what women see in Fred, he just sits there licking his eyebrows."

 

[Nottseagull]

how would it have been a joke if you'f cancelled the order

What I thought.

 

[Nottseagull]

as an 18 year old i was working in a grave yard doing various crap jobs . one of the least crap jobs was driving one of the diggers around. anyway one day i realised that if you turned the wheels full lock and let rip you could do a little wheel spin . anyway after a few weeks of wheel spins i was getting good , over did it one day tipped the thing up and i fell out. was pretty scared the thing would fall on me but it didnt and it righted itself . as i breathed a sigh of relief i realised it was still moving so i tried to get into it but it was moving faster and faster. all i could do was put my head in my hands as it turned towards the church. straight into the side of the church.
.
.
.
and



..... there was a funeral on at the time

Sorry, don't actually believe this one! Mechanical diggers are usually found in crematoria, not church graveyards. And why would the digger keep moving with no-one pressing the accelerator?