Publius Ovidius
Well-known member
I've travelled this whole world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,
I've had sunstroke in the Arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal,
And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,
I've met the King of China,
And the working Yorkshire miner,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
Who hate black people.
I once got served in Woolies after less than four weeks' wait,
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,
I've met a normal merman,
And a fairly modest German,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of talentless murderers,
Who smell like baboons.
I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,
I've got Directory Enquiries after less than forty rings,
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,
I've seen a flying pig
In a quite convincing wig,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
With no sense of humour (hah-hah-hah).
I've met the Loch Ness Monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,
I know a place in Glasgow which is bright with daffodillies,
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,
I've had a nice Pot Noodle,
But I've never had a poodle,
And I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
Because we've never met one either,
Except for Bruiten Bruiten-Bach,
And he's emigrated to Paris.
Yes, he's quite a nice South African,
And he's hardly ever killed anyone,
And he's not smelly at all,
That's why they put him in prison.
I've had sunstroke in the Arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal,
And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,
I've met the King of China,
And the working Yorkshire miner,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
Who hate black people.
I once got served in Woolies after less than four weeks' wait,
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,
I've met a normal merman,
And a fairly modest German,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of talentless murderers,
Who smell like baboons.
I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,
I've got Directory Enquiries after less than forty rings,
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,
I've seen a flying pig
In a quite convincing wig,
But I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
'Cos we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
With no sense of humour (hah-hah-hah).
I've met the Loch Ness Monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,
I know a place in Glasgow which is bright with daffodillies,
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,
I've had a nice Pot Noodle,
But I've never had a poodle,
And I've never met a nice South African.
No, he's never met a nice South African,
And that's not bloody surprising, man,
Because we've never met one either,
Except for Bruiten Bruiten-Bach,
And he's emigrated to Paris.
Yes, he's quite a nice South African,
And he's hardly ever killed anyone,
And he's not smelly at all,
That's why they put him in prison.
