A-Z of little-known Albion miscellany - for new fans

[Wozza]

With Albion (and, indeed, NSC) attracting so many new fans, I thought it would be fun to round-up some of the more obscure facts about our club.

Feel free to add your own. Cheers.

Al-bi-on
The song 'Al-bi-on', performed by Seagulls Ska, briefly entered the UK singles charts at #78 in April 2008. The song holds the chart record for having the least number of words (just 'Al-bi-on' repeated over and over, in a monotonous dirge) - er, aside from instrumentals, of course.

Butters, Guy
Former Albion defender Guy Butters (b. 30 October 1959) put on so much extra weight during the 2004 close season that he was allocated TWO squad numbers.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Paul Dickoff

Pint sized, pocket rocket, hot shot goal ace Paul Lee changed his name to Paul Dickoff after a successful gender realignment operation during his brief loan spell at the Albion in the mid 90's. Paul-or Paula as he is known to friends and family- went on to enjoy a highly successful career in the premier league and internationally with Scotchland. The softly spoken, diminutive dynamo is currently manager of Endsleigh league one pace setters Atletico Oldham of Manchester.

 

[Storer68]

Super striker Peter Ward's young son Mitch played for the club in 2008

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Leon Knight had a long and distinguished career with us that spanned over two decades 1983 - 2004. He scored in the cup final of 83 and the play off semi final away at swindon in 2004.

 

[Simster]

Crystal Palace
This poor quality football club haven't beaten Brighton in Sussex. Ever. Not once, in 79 attempts. The figure is much closer for fixtures at their current home Selhurst Park where Palace have won 7 times, with 26 draws and 48 Albion wins.

 

[superseagulls]

NSC has more viewers per day than wikipedia and is MUCH MORE factual

 

[The Large One]

Gus Poyet
Gus doesn't actually exist. He is a phantom created (with a full life story - or 'legend' as it's known in the covert world of espionage) in order for followers of the club to have a deity to worship. Mauricio Tarricco is his son.

 

[Simster]

Good Old Sussex By The Sea

Once the famous club song, this was ditched in 1971 when attilla the stockbroker arrived on the scene with his sparkling new brand of punk music and unilaterally replaced it with "Teenage Kicks" by the Undertones. Amazingly, Brighton fans went along happily with this decision, and attilla continues to enjoy the support of every single Brighton fan as he continues to spin the discs with some tremendous cutting edge music, a fact often sourced as the reason so many away supporters circle the Albion fixture in the diary as soon as the fixtures come out.

 

[Brovion]

Date Formed. Brighton and Hove Albion football club was formed on March 1st 2007 by a group of Premiership fans who wanted Sussex to finally have a professional football club after a century of semi-pro and amateur teams. They met at The Swan in Falmer and the motion forming the club was passed at 19:01 in the evening, hence the famous '1901 Club'. They then decided to build the ground near the pub where the club had been formed.

 

[Bozza]

Wem-ber-ley

The famous Brightnovealbion have the winningest record at the home of football. At the time of writing Albion have won 28 of their 29 appearances on the hallowed green turf of Wembley. The sole disappointment was in the FA Cup Final of 1983, where plucky underdogs Manchester United held the Albion to a 2-2 draw. Brighton won the replay 28-0.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The Priestfield

Brighton & Hove Albion spent two years at the Priestfield. Maradona and Ossie Ardiles, backed by a Russian consortium, saw fit to expand the fanbase and relocated to the Garden of England. The plan was to merge with the Kent based side, Gillingham, and form a new super club - Brighton & Hove Gills. The club lodged a planning application to build a 95,000 all seater stadium on the Isle of Sheppey. The bid eventually failed due to the discovery of a human form with webbed digits - distantly related to the Great Crested Norwich Newt. Another site was considered, but it compromised the human rights of the local residents and their rare collection of 1960's refrigeration units.

Eventually the club, after the various interested parties... lost interest, was sold to Paul McCartney for a bag of hash. He lost the club in a bitter divorce to Heather Mills, who consequently lost it in a game of cards to Tony Bloom, along with her diamond encrusted false leg.

 

[Return of the Rev]

FACT ONE=Mark lawrenson lived in goldstone lane,when he bought a new car the garage was too small,so he extended it,causing a damp problem for later owners!

FACT TWO= When albion got promoted to the old div 1 they did a bus tour and a walk round the goldstone,paul clarke carried a flag on the end of a duster which was liberated from a luton pub toilet

 

[The Large One]

Seagulls Brighton took their club nickname after winning THE WORLD'S HARDEST CREATURE title seven years running during the 1960s and 1970s, usually with the Honey Badger finishing second and Fred Binney's moustache third.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Gary HART, a player Albion purchased for a pair of trainers and £20 from Heathrow was once the subject of a refused 500K bid from Bristol City. Despite this excellent offer, Al-Bion held out for 750K which never materialised.

 

[Tubby Mondays]

A-Z?!

Dyslexics rool K.O

 

[Simster]

Past Managers
Gus Poyet is on the way to becoming the most successful club manager we've ever had. However, he'll have a long way to go before he matches the achievements of no less than THREE managers who have enjoyed superbly successful double stints as Albion supremo.

Alan Mullery: presided over the club as we were promoted to the top flight for the only period in our history in 1979. Returned in 1986 for another superbly successful spell, which was ruined when he was forced to sell the club's best player, Dean Saunders for a a paltry £3m.

Micky Adams: Won promotion as champions from division 4 in 2000 and laid the foundations for another promotion season just a year later as he moved to a bigger club, Leicester City. Returned in 2007, steadying the disastrous Albion ship as it was, triumphantly leaving the foundations of another championship winning season just 2 years later for Gus Poyet as he moved to a bigger club, Sheffield United.

Peter Taylor: In 1977 he stayed on when Brian Clough split for Leeds. Built a good solid team ready for promotion. Was welcomed back in 2001 as a returning hero, when he duly delivered a championship season with Micky Adam's team. And Junior Lewis.

 

[Buzzer]

Famous fans include Fatboy Slim, that bloke from that advert, the son of that bloke who invented opera and Brett Mendoza (below).

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Z - Zamora. During the early years at Withdean the Club changed names from Brighton FC to Brighton and Zamora Albion to acknowledge Bobby Zamora's contribution to the one-man team. When Zamora left for Tottingham the Club was renamed Brighton and Hove Albion as part of the city status celebration.

 

[The Large One]

The Goldstone Ground was Brighton's home for 150 years during the English Civil War and when Brighton were away was used for sacrificial killings, tuna fishing and racist discos. The ground now has a curse on it - anyone caught on that site will lose their money on meaningless tat they never wanted. Including syphilis.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Jeff WOOD is Brighton most successful manager. He left the club after 10 successive victories when an accident with a staple gun, flamingo and a vat of Tar caused him to retire prematurely. Current Sheffield Wednesday manager Mike Adams took over and led to team to 10 promotions and a victory in the Champions league and European fair play leagues.