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Particularly as they're actually allowed up to two hours of sleep a day without penalty, for health and safety reasons. Which kind of negates the whole point. I'd rather raise a glass to Ellen Macarthur, who when sailing in the Vendee Globe singlehanded round the world race went for over three...

Err, though my knowledge of league rules is almost Rio Ferdinandesque in its vagueness, I believe clubs are only allowed so many loans at one time/over the course of a season. We're doing the best we can within those rules. Am now happy to be corrected by loads of people who go to bed at night...

I'd rather we got Falmer approved. That's the priority for 2004. Until we do, promotion would be nice rather than vital. And I don't want a repeat of last year - Div 1 but without the funds required. To be honest, while we're stuck at Withdean, Div 1 is financially a huge mountain to climb. We...

Some good songs on there, Beatles and so on, but have to go for the one that I remember most vividly from my teenage years. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar When I met you. I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around, Turned you into someone new. Now five years...

Walking from Hove station to the Goldstone, suddenly found myself heading directly towards a bunch of 20 Cardiff fans, strutting around looking for a scrap. Only time I've turned and retreated sharpish. Most scared I've ever been was at Leyton Orient. And before you all laugh, it had nothing to...

Scene: Roman Abramovich's SW9 penthouse. Mr Abramovich is on the phone to Claudio Ranieri. "Ranieri, I want Blüinck. Sign Blüinck. Offer £60m as a starter. I don't know who he is or who he plays for, but apparently he takes the best pens in the land. We must have him."

Hear hear. Increasingly exasperated as gormless shop assistants emerge from the back of the shop mumbling 'We don't have any 12s sorry'. Listen, shoe manufacturers, I'm not some kind of giant footed freak fer crissakes. Size 12. It ain't unusual. Make the buggers, sell the buggers. Bah. I...

Nope. We don't have much money, and Rougier is not worth what little we have. Look for a freebie (Cureton), keep developing McPhee & Robinson. That policy should only change if Leon got a long term injury.

The Hop & Grapes (aka Hope & Grope) in Torquay, wearing fancy dress, snogging my girl.

54. Would have done a bit better but for questions on Coronation Street etc... pah.

Ealing Broadway. Mainly for the harmless old tramp that's been there for years, mornings wouldn't be the same without him chattering away as the commuters sweep past.

When Diego Forlan was warming up to come on as sub the other week, Middlesborough fans broke into a chorus of "One Sally Gunnell, there's only one Sally Gunnell."

Funny that, I'd heard that his first words were: "Finally, I've been down here for months. What's the news with the Falmer application?"