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On that showing Liverpool aren't going to trouble the Champions League places, and Bournemouth, for all the pretty football, are going to come straight back down.

So we weren't in a relegation fight last season? We weren't fully assured of safety until near the end of the season? Was it all a dream? Did the 6 months watching the players run about without a clue, all the while being directed by a man with all the tactical sense of a concussed duck not...

What do you want me to say? Yes, we've started the season well and it looks like we carry quite a threat going forwards. Baldock and Hemed both look to be a good signings plus we should soon have Bobby coming off the bench. What was most pleasing about Saturday though was the way we stood up to...

What are you wittering on about?

Of course I was pleased when that shower of shite up the road lost yesterday, it rounded off a good weekend but after last season it's going to take more than a couple of wins to shake me out of the pessimistic mood I'm currently in where Albion are concerned. If we're still going well come...

I'm sorry, but are people really trying to take the piss out of Palace narrowly losing to Arsenal? Do you realise how bitter it makes us sound?

Tbf, he's probably not far wrong. It was only during the latter seasons at the Withdean that we were regularly filling the place. It may be hard to admit it, but it's a fact that the vast majority of fans that will be in the Amex Friday night won't have ever seen BZ play for us.

I've got this horrible feeling that for one reason or another this isn't going to happen, but feel free to remind me I said this if he does sign.

According to a Geordie mate, it was Mike Ashley who Cabaye fell out with after certain promises had been broken. Pardew never had a problem with him. Although I hate to say it, this is a pretty good signing for Palace and just highlights even further the current gulf between us, a gulf that...

According to a Geordie mate, it was Mike Ashley who Cabaye fell out with after certain promises had been broken. Pardew never had a problem with him. Although I hate to say it, this is a pretty good signing for Palace and just highlights even further the current gulf between us, a gulf that...

Then let's hope none of our players ever give that lot up the road a chance to reciprocate, there are more than a few precious souls on this board who would be mightily upset were they to point out any hypocrisy from us.

Sharknado. Nothing else comes close.

Derby were shocking at Fulham by all accounts so I think we'll get a bit of a backlash I'm afraid. 2-0 to Derby. :(

Unless we've never had players sent off for violent conduct I'm not sure we can afford to be too judgemental. Yes, what Jedinak did was stupid and he fully deserves his ban, but let's not get too carried away heaping opprobrium on his shoulders as next week it could be one of our players actions...

Look at some of the goals we've shipped recently and you can understand why people might not rate our defence and the players in it.

You can support a league team and attend matches at a non-league team at the same time, no problem there as far as I can see but I'd stop short of actual support. In fact I used to regularly visit Burton Albion when they were non-league. However, I've stopped going now they're a league team as...

The gulf in class between the two sides is plain for all to see. Can't see us doing a Bradford I'm afraid, Arsenal are doing a thoroughly professional job.

Anyone over the age of 14 seen in possession of one of these abominations should have it shoved up their arse.

I can't shake the feeling that yesterday's shocks will work against us. Arsenal will be out to make sure the same doesn't happen to them and if they play anything like they did up at the Etihad last weekend then unfortunately I can see it being a long afternoon.

The squad hasn't got enough about it to mount a serious challenge for the play-offs, it needs an overhaul during the summer to clear out some of the dross accumulated by Hyppia. Mid-table anonymity beckons this season I reckon, considering where we were a month ago I'll be happy with that.